The old saying goes…
“The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become!”
Down in berthing, everything you owned in the entire world was crammed in a side locker! And on the inside of that side locker was Miss January or June of the previous year’s Playboy!! Pin-ups have traveled with Sailors around the Globe!!!
And everyone wanted to be the proprietor of the largest collection of erotic nudie mags and centerfolds on board any Navy ship! Playboy is a very valuable commodity between shipmates… it was part of the twentieth century mercantile Scallywag exchange!! A log of chew’n Tabacco, a carton of smokes or a stack of Playboy & Penthouse skin books could make you a very rich Crackerjack!!!
There were magazines with articles like…
"I was a Sailor trapped on an island inhabited by sex-crazed Lbfms’."
But who read the articles and editorials? That was used for shit paper when the Boatswain Locker ran out!! Besides, it worked better than that sand paper they passed on as tissue!!!
Yes, the imagination ran wild after days at sea without the sweet smell of perfume as fantasies run amok in the shadows of coffin racks playing Tug-o-War with the Cyclops while stripping her clothes off of the overhead she’s pinned upon! I remember fantasies of outta your league torpedo tit Playboy Bunnies bouncing on the bishop like there’s no tomorrow!! You just couldn’t wait to get to the next liberty port!!!
It was all fun and games until you saw that go-go dancer in Thailand do the most impressive things with a ping pong ball that you’d ever seen or witnessed in an entire lifetime! Or watch her furburger swaller up a yarn full of sewing needles and razor blades… or shoot darts with sniper like accuracy some twenty feet away!! How can a woman who’s had more pricks than a second hand dartboard manage such pussy control?!?
It was a romp through youthful indiscretions like no other! And I had the pleasure to arrive thin skinned and leave with armadillo hide!! Yep… the stories were all true… “Shit happens when you party naked on WestPac!”