"Are You a Real Sailor"

 

An old 1st class sailor, perfectly rolled white hat on the back of his head and three rows of service ribbons on his chest went to a bar and ordered a drink. He had 4 hashmarks on his sleeve and was dressed in his best set of gabardine dress “blues”, complete with the fancy liberty cuff embroidery and 13 button flap dragons. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink, she turned to the sailor and asked him,

'Are you a real sailor?'

To which he replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life on the water, riding hurricanes out on the surface and sweating it out trying to dodge the bad guys, so I guess I am.'

After a short while, he asked her what she was.

She replied, 'I've never been on a ship so I'm not a sailor, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women.' A short while later she left and the swabbie ordered another drink.

Later a couple sat down next to him and asked,

'Are you a real sailor?'

To which he replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian.”