"A Homecoming"

The Bosun’s been on deployment for nearly a year. When the ship pulls in he takes the Misses home, grabs her and gives her a knee trembling screw up against the kitchen door. When he's finished he changes into his civvies and goes down the local pub. He sees a shipmate who asks…

“Where’s the Misses, I thought you'd be out with her tonight, first night home, where is she?"

"Trying to get the kitchen door knob out of her arse!"