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What would
our life be like without the good ol’ Master-At-Arms?!? That’s a question most often discussed by
junior sailors over the messdeck table!! Here are a few Jeremiah Paoli Cartoons
to put it all into perspective!!!
A
Master-At-Arms idea of a hot shower might had been a relaxing bubble bather
with a rub-a-dub-dub to follow, but when this particular soapy was secured,
you better be nothing but assholes and elbows shining the bright work in those
stalls, because ‘Water Hours Will Be Enforced!’
Restricted
and Extra Duty Men, the galley slaves of shipboard life, are accustomed to
abuse from the Master-At-Arms as most of them make humanity seem like the
underside of a dirty park bench...
“Nope, No
Coke In There!”
One unlucky fellow
was up before the CO on drug charges! He swore to the captain that he had
never done drugs in his life!! He then went on to say that he had never
even seen a drug in his life!! When the Skipper asked where he was from
he said: "Detroit, sir." The whole bridge broke out in laughter
and the guy pretty much knew his goose was cooked!!!
Master-At-Arms
were quick to hand out ‘Walking Chits’ to shipmates in need of a haircut or a
hot rock to iron that chambray shirt in their dungaree uniform! Some shipmates can feel singled out, harassed
and even picked on under the unevenly handed UCMJ … I guess it’s all a matter of perspective!!
But sometimes it can get downright ridiculous!!!
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Six miles
from the last vestige of feminine influence and it was OK to act like you were
raised by wolves! This included loud burping, "pull my finger" fart jokes,
smoking lamp in all authorized spaces, chomping a chaw and spitting any damn
place you felt like … Except the scuttlebutt!! That could get you 45/45 as well
as a lesson in keel hauling!!!
Back then shipmates
smoked cigarettes all over the ship! Nobody knew what the hell secondhand smoke
was and just wandered around in it like it was nothing! Nine out of ten doctors
recommended Camels Cigarettes!! I swear I read it in a magazine ad in Playboy...
or one of them other naked lady magazines!!!
