While filling out a
Tricare questionnaire at the Naval Hospital, a young Seaman who was recently
married marked “NO” for dependents on the paperwork. The Corpsman asked him…
“Why did you mark “NO” for
dependents? You’re married aren’t you?”
“Well Yes …”
… Replied the young Seaman
…
“Then why did you mark “NO?”
“Well, because she ain’t
dependable…”
“The
American beer that is sent over here has so much formaldehyde in it, it tastes
like a urine sample from an embalmed, diabetic dead horse. But at least it’s
better than the Guamanian version, which tastes like a urine sample from a live
horse. If you wonder how I found out, the Marines told me. They’ll drink
anything.”
In the PC world of today’s Canoe Club Cabaret, it’s hard to imagine these patches on any everyday official flight jacket or Westpac Cruise jacket. But any old vet will tell you … it used to be a thing. Enjoy these patches as I know some are familiar, and some maybe not. I hope you appreciate a dip into the pool of the past…
When God
first created man, monkey, and bull, he endowed the man with 40 years of life,
the monkey with 40 and the bull with 20. The man wanted more and the monkey and
bull volunteered to give part of their life spans...
"Twenty
is enough for me," said the monkey.
"I'll
give him ten of mine," said the bull.
And thus
it came about that man's life runs to 70 years on the average, divided into
three periods: first 40 normal years of living; next 20 years of monkey
business; last 10 years shooting the bull.
Somehow
or another, the 10 years donated by the bull, got scrambled when Sailors were
made and the apportionment doesn't always hold true.
When
the man-o-war or merchant ship comes sailing into port
The
Jolly Tar with joy will sing out 'Land Ahoy'
With
his pockets full of money and a parrot in a cage
He
smiles at all the pretty girls upon the landing stage.
All
the nice girls love a sailor
All
the nice girls love a tar
For
there's something about a sailor
Well,
you know what sailors are
Bright
and breezy, free and easy
He's
the ladies' pride and joy
Falls
in love with Kate and Jane
Then
he's off to sea again
Ship
ahoy, ship ahoy.
Jack
is partial to the yellow girls across the Eastern seas
With
lovely almond eyes, the tar they hypnotize
And
when he goes to the Sandwich Isles he loves the dusky belles
Dressed
a la Salome, colored beads, and oyster shells.
He
will spend his money freely and he's generous to his pals
While
Jack has got a sou, there's half of it for you
And
it's just the same in love and war, he goes through with a smile
And
you can trust a sailor, for he’s been a sailor all the while.
( Fin )
The sailor had missed his ship. He watched it majestically steaming through the Golden Gate. With his arms around the girl’s waist and a gloomy look on his face, he muttered ...
“Now, honey, we're both in trouble.”
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A shipmate reported that when he was stationed on a Navy P-3C Orion years ago, there was a guy who always fell asleep during flights. The commander wanted to teach him a lesson, so one day he handed out little packets of mayonnaise to the rest of the flight crew. Two hours into the flight, “Sleeping Beauty” dozed off. The crew stood around him with their flight suits unzipped and, on cue, squirted the warm, gooey mayonnaise on his face. He immediately woke up, saw them all zipping their flight suits back up, and started touching his face while freaking out! It’s sufficed to say, he never fell asleep while on mission again!!!
You know the old saying Granny used to say …
“Tattoos are for Sailors &
Whores!”
Well, things sure have changed over the years. I
hope you appreciate this exquisite collection of Tattooed Cartoons… Enjoy!
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The Navy Aviator was a hothead, and one time when
his mouth got away from him, a fellow aviator decked him…
When the call went out during WWII for women to
join the Navy, there was a huge Wave of response…
In the Navy, all recruits have to “shape up” and
“ship out…”
The Navy mechanic slipped on the icy deck and
wrenched his shoulder. The surgeon used a socket wrench to ease the pain…
When naval ships leave their anchorage they first
have to put their anchors aweigh…
On occasion, Navy chow can be exceptional in a
good way, but let’s not go overboard here…
Sailor Sam returned from leave petered out. He had
spent the whole weekend trying to make Waves on a water bed…
Why does
the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their boats?
So when
they come back to port they can… Scandinavian.
When I
lost my rifle, the army charged me $85.
That’s
why in the navy, the captain goes down with the ship.
I’m going
to join the Navy purely out of spite.
I’m
longing to become a Petty Officer.
( Fin )
If you’re a connoisseur of classic pin-ups, this month’s collection might be for you. Here is another collection of vintage pin-up girls I have for your enjoyment…
