"Chief is coming Home"

 

A Chief was on his way home from deployment. He called his wife in Phoenix from San Diego…

“Bye Honey … see you in a few hours … and if you want to be first, don’t let your mother answer the door.”

 

"The Saturday Evening Post"

 Not all, but much of the artwork covered on the vintage Saturday Evening Post has been attributed to Norman Rockwell. My father and uncle had the honor of receiving their Eagle Scout Award face-to-face from the very hands of Mr. Rockwell back in the early sixties. My father to this day says he can still remember how large Mr. Rockwell’s hands were when they met. Already a hallmark figure in the Americano of modern art, Rockwell was quite the celebrity at the time. I saw it as only fitting to present the art from “The Saturday Evening Post” with its affinity for the Navy shown on the cover. I hope you all enjoy…

 

( Fin )

"Sailor's Parrot"

 

A sailor had a parrot that just sat and said…

“I’m a pretty whore.”

… over and over. He was embarrassed about it, but two old maids he knew had a couple of parrots that sat on their perch and prayed all of the time, so he thought he’d put his vulgar little parrot with the two praying parrots and it would mend her ways.

So he took his parrot over, was obliged by the old maids as he put his parrot in the cage with the two praying parrots and one of them said…

“Up off your knees Jake, our prayers have been answered!”

 

" To Be Lost at Sea"

(FIN)

"What's Your Wife Do"

 

The Chief and one of his sailors were sitting around chewing the fat when the young Seaman asked…

“So Chief, what does your wife do?”

… Quickly the Chief replies …

“Oh, she works for the Humane Society.”

… to which the Seaman replied …

“What’s her job?”

“She runs a Cat House!”

"I'm the best Sea Daddy in the whole Na-vee"

 

Here is another diddy from your favorite Sea-Daddy, Owyn “Preacher Bradford” Sung to the tune of 'The First Lord's Song' by Gilbert and Sullivan.” I hope you all enjoy…

 

When I was a lad I said "Aye aye"

And they shipped me out to the old PI.

I went to muster and then turned to

And at liberty call knew just what to do!

I crossed that bridge so rapidly

I'm the best Sea Daddy in the whole Na-vee!

I went to Pauline's and I fed the croc

And at Marilyn's exercised my jock.

I ate my lumpia and Kong's fried rice

And that monkey meat, it sure was nice.

That monkey meat was so good to me

I'm the best Sea Daddy in the whole Na-vee!

Long-time, short-time, it all was fine

And sailors' joys, they all were mine.

I wrapped that rascal ne'er got sick

And the corpsman, he never touched my d***!

I was healthy as hell, boys, sexually.

I'm the best Sea Daddy in the whole Na-vee!

"Some Navy Dad Jokes"

 

A Sailor just back from overseas, with a drip from the trip explained to the Corpsman …

“I escaped the Hong Kong Flu, but not the Singapore Floosies…”

A girl who tries to talk her sailor into buying her a new dress ought not be surprised when he tries to talk her out of it…

 

Sailors don’t think about women all of the time, but when they think, they think about women…

A Boot Camp Company Commander on his Honeymoon…

“Hump, Two … Three … Four”

“Hump, Two … Three … More”

 

Penicillin … The ideal gift for the Sailor who has everything!

How do you get an 80 year old Vet to use the "F" Word - Have another 80 year old Vet holler "BINGO".

 

Why doesn’t the navy allow strippers on submarines?

A: In combat the lights go red!

Did you hear about the homesick Sailor? He eats his sardines with a hairbrush…

As a Sailor I once saw a sign that read…

“Stop at all Red Lights … Keep our Girls off the Streets!”

 

"December Cheesecake"

 This month’s installment of maritime cheesecake beauties. I hope you find them pleasing to the eyes. Posted for your enjoyment…

(Fin)