Friday, December 9, 2016

'Squids & Jarheads'




An LHD was out conducting maneuvers with the Marines! On shift one night, a Marine asked a young Petty Officer where he was from...

"I'm originally from Central America!"

… said the Petty Officer …

"Oh, yeah?”

asked the Marine …

“Where abouts… Kansas?"


Tuesday, December 6, 2016

'Stinky Kapok Capers'

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Saturday, December 3, 2016

'Taking The Helm'



Here’s another from an Ol’ Shipmate from the PacNorthwest!  I spent much of my career in that area and am currently residing there as well… I can picture this just how he tells it!!!

Ships back in the day were like a floating sweatshop for young Booters underway! They were worked like galleon slaves to earn their Salt!! It’s just the way it was!! It’s what made us into the Sea going Warriors we all turned out to be!!!

As a Deck Seaman I was the ‘Special Sea & Anchor Detail’ Helmsman, and was called to take the helm when entering or leaving port and at any time we were at ‘Restrictive Maneuvering!’

 We were near the end of underway workups, and were entering Puget Sound, off the Washington coast where ground swells always make steering difficult!  To make matters worse, there was a strong wind off the port quarter!!  As a result, I was called out of the rack at about 0300 Hours!!!

Now with the 0400-0800 watch the night before, I didn't get much sleep!  But I dressed as quickly as possible and headed up to the pilot house to see what was up!!  Just as I stepped in, I heard the Officer of the Deck shout down the voice tube…

"Helmsman what are you doing thirty degrees off course?" 

The response from the beleaguered helmsman was…

"Coming back from forty-five Sir!"

After I stopped laughing, I requested permission to take the helm, much to the relief of the young fella who was steering… those were the days!!!




Thursday, December 1, 2016

'Ol' Gramps...'



A boy was upstairs playing on his computer when his Grandpa came in the room and sat down on the bed.

"What are you doing?"

… Asked the Grandpa ...

"You're 18 years old and wasting your life! When I was 18 I joined the Navy, went to Vietnam, went to Bangkok, I went to the Soi Cowboy A-Go-Go, drank all night, had my way with the girls, pissed on the barman and left without paying! Now that is how to have a good time!"

A month later, the grandfather comes to visit again. He finds the boy still in his room, but with a broken arm in plaster, 2 black eyes and missing all his front teeth.

"What happened son?"

… He asked ...

"Oh Grandfather… I did what you said you did! I went took a trip to Bangkok, went to a Go-Go bar, drank all night, had my way with the girls, pissed all over the barman, and he beat the crap out of me!"

"Oh dear!"

… Replied the Granddad ...

"Who did you go with?"

"Just some friends. Why? Who did you go with?"

"Oh!"
 
… Replied the Granddad …

"The Seventh Fleet!”