"Chiefly Wisdom"

A young LCDR meets with a Chief in his office. The LCDR asks,

"Chief, how do you run such an efficient shop? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

"Well," says the Chief, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

The LCDR frowns and says,

"But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Chief takes a sip of coffee and says,

"Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle."

Then the Chief yells out to one of his First Class Petty Officers.

The First Class walks into the room, "Yes, Chief what can I do for you?"

The Chief smiles and says,

"Answer me this. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, the First Class answers,

"Well, that would be me."

"Yes, Very good. Thanks" says the Chief.

The LCDR goes back to his office and assembles his junior officers and asks them the same question,

"Answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

All of the junior officers look at the LCDR in amazement,

"We're not sure, let us get back to you on that one."

The junior officers then have numerous meetings to discuss the question without any resolution.

Finally, they run into the Chief.

The junior officers ask,

"Chief can you answer this for us? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

The Chief yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"

All of the officers smile, and say, "Thanks!"

The junior officers schedule a meeting with the LCDR and at that meeting report,

"Sir we found the answer to your question. We did some research and we have the answer to that riddle. It's a Chief!"

The LCDR gets up, and starts screaming at them,

"No, you idiots! It's the First Class!"

 

 

'Pinups of March 21'

 Some of these ladies look like they come straight off the ship and right into a photo shoot... Sailor girls galore! More pinup eye candy for you ol’ shipmates to enjoy…

(Fin)

"Old Hong Kong Tattoo"

Back in 75’ when this young sailor was in the Navy he got a tattoo in Hong Kong of this big dragon with Chinese characters all around it. Years later he had heard of a girl who got a tattoo with Japanese characters on her back that referred to her as a whore. He got to thinking that he really had no idea what those Chinese characters on his tattoo said so he showed it to some Chinese guy he knew at work. The Chinese guy laughed and laughed …

“Chinese tattoo says, "Hey, look at me, I’m a jackass!"

The now older sailor was shocked! He had been walking around with that tattoo for over forty-five years!

 

"Getting Laid"

 

A young Seaman Recruit out of Bootcamp receives orders to Hawaii. On the flight there, all he can think about is getting greeted by a pretty Hawaiian girl and having roses placed around his neck. When he landed in Hawaii, he noticed all the other people greeted and having roses placed around their necks. The Sailor learned that the roses were called a Leia. He was there for three years and never got leia'd…  

“Pandemonium on the High Seas”

 Okay, I found this little no-shit gem online and I thought it was just too good to pass up. It made me grin from ear to ear when I read it. It’s a little story about life and I hope you all enjoy…

 

Back during the golden age of the U.S. Navy, when real men sailed on Uncle Sam's warships unlike today where the sissies fill most of the billets, veteran sailors like myself knew that the most important thing to bring on any Westpac was a small portable electric fan. This fan was easily mounted in your rack and it was the only source of cooling that you would have in the sweltering Indian Ocean.  During my first Westpac, I didn't know about bringing a fan and so I suffered terribly until I finally ponied up large sums of cash to buy a "used" fan from a shady character who had obviously stolen the thing from some idiot not smart enough to keep it locked up.

Before we left on our next Westpac, I made sure I brought a fan but my pal Myron G. forgot.  He quickly sent home a letter and asked his mom to send him a "9-inch fan" as soon as possible. We had a few weeks, maybe even a month, before we entered the Indian Ocean, so Myron wasn’t in a panic when his mom’s package was slow to arrive. Finally, the package arrived and not a moment too soon; the hot days were just around the corner and Myron quickly opened it.  Inside, much to his shock, Myron found a 9-inch frying pan. A note accompanied the pan saying …

“Dear Myron, I have no idea why you need a 9-inch pan but since you asked for one, here it is.”

Because his mom had sent the thing, Myron didn't have the heart to toss it into the ocean like he initially wanted to do but kept the damn thing instead.  Myron and I were roommates in college after we got out of the Navy and that pan was actually used all the time.  Somehow that little frying pan came into my possession and I still have it. Every time I see it when my wife uses it to make omelets or something, I laugh and think about the look on poor Myron’s face when he first gazed upon it so many years ago.  It's actually a pretty good pan … it's Teflon coated and all!!!

"Salty Comics"

 

Here are a few various comic strips for you all to enjoy. They range from the 1940’s to the 1980’s. I hope you have fun with these …

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(Fin)

"Protons, Neutrons, Electrons & Morons"

 

I once had a shipmate in First Division who got kicked out of Nuke school. I asked him how it happened. He said,

“One day in-class the instructor was explaining the makeup of an atom. You see they have protons, neutrons, and electrons. Then I said you forgot, they have plenty of morons too!”

My shipmate ended up being the smartest damned deck seaman I ever knew …