Saturday, December 3, 2022

"Never Miss a Good Chance to Shut Up"

 


A meeting at the Naval Station, was attended by an Admiral who outranked everyone onboard station…

"Don't let me interfere with your work," he said. "I'll just sit here quietly." 

Soon afterward, the Admiral interrupted with a comment... 

"Sorry," he apologized. "You won't hear another word from me."

A few minutes later, the officer again felt compelled to speak and concluded,

"That's all I'm going to say."

Not long after, he took the floor once more and then contritely vowed to remain silent…

"That's okay, Sir," a Chief Petty Officer called out from the back. "You just won me five bucks"


Friday, December 2, 2022

"The Admiral"

 Here is a collection of cartoons picking fun at the Admiralty. I hope you enjoy this bit of humor…




















(Admiral's Gig)


































Fin )





"Submarine Ops"

 


A LONG-TIME SUBMARINER, this Master Chief had thought he'd heard every possible description of a submerged operation until a group of teachers toured his attack submarine in San Diego.

One woman asked one of the petty officer tour guides what it's like steering a submarine underwater with only sonar for guidance…

"Well, ma'am, if you painted your car's windshield black, then drove down the freeway while listening to your bitchy wife with her head out the moon roof while some midget operates the gas and the brakes for you… it would be pretty close."



Thursday, December 1, 2022

"December Pinups 2022"

 These are the type of racy photos that used to adorn lonely servicemen’s lockers, the walls of barracks, and even the sides of planes. Before today’s political correctness, pinup pictures, magazines, and calendars raised morale and reminded the young men what they were fighting for. I hope you enjoy this month’s installment of pinups…



















































Fin )


Tuesday, November 29, 2022

"Sailor Jack and the Case of the Toe Jam"

 



All his life Sailor Jack had a fantasy about fucking a whore with his big toe. He searched for many years and finally found one who was willing to try this ridiculous sex act. Enjoying himself immensely, he at last fulfilled his fantasy.

After a few days, the toe began to swell. It was very painful. His doctor told him after an examination that he had syphilis of the big toe…

"Isn't that unusual?"

… Jack asked …

"Not really, I had a lady in here this morning with athlete's cunt!"


Fin )

"Down in Twat Valley with a Mexican Whore"

 Another Sailor'n Shanty that will make your mother blush. Also known as Lupe or Down in Cunt Valley ... I hope you enjoy...



Twas down in Twat valley
Where maidenheads grow
Where cocksuckers flourish
And the red river flows
Twas there I met Lulu
The girl I adore
That hare fucking c-o-o-ck-sucking whore

She’ll fuck you and suck you
She'll gnaw on your nuts
And if you’re not careful
She'll suck out your guts.

She'll fuck for a nickel
Take less or take more
That hard fucking c-o-o-ck-sucking
Mexican whore.

Now Lulu is [dead]
She lies in her tomb
The flies and the maggots
Crawl around in her womb

But from that dark region
She cries out for more
That hard fucking c-o-o-ck-sucking
Mexican Whore


https://www.horntip.com/mp3/1980s/1989--2001_concerto_for_piano_voice_and_assholes__john_valby_(CD)/12_lupe_(aka_down_in_cunt_valley).htm


Fin )

" A Few Funny Jokes "

 



Here are a few for your enjoyment…

 

Did you hear the one about Captain Hornblower?

He dreamed he was shipwrecked on an emerald isle with a thousand beautiful hula girls and he woke up with his mast in his hand and a jellyfish in his navel …


In the days of buggery in the old Royal Navy, S.O.S. was an old Navy term that meant,

“Stoop Over, Sport!”

  

If shrimp come in on a shrimp boat, do crabs come in on the Captain’s dinghy?

 

What happens if you confine a Typical Enlisted Sailor to quarters with a 2-foot diameter ball bearing?

He will either break it or get it pregnant.


Fin )