Dan The Navy Man: December 2022

Friday, December 23, 2022

"A Lei in Oahu"

As the airplane full of sailors leveled off for its flight to Oahu, the stewardess announced …

“If any of you swabbies are not planning to meet your wives or sweethearts in Hawaii, you can give me a lei instead.”

"A Navy Christmas"

Every year US Navy ships participate in the ceremony of rigging Christmas lights for the Holiday Season. I hope you enjoy this little collection and have a very Merry Christmas to you and yours…

“Do not rodiate or ratate electrical or electronic equipment while men are working aloft”

( Fin )

Friday, December 16, 2022

"Sea Daddy & the Girls in Olongapo"

As the young Seaman’s Sea Daddy put it so astutely …

“The girls of Olongapo come in a multitude of forms. There are tight wads and man holes, sludge pots and crackerjack boxes, snap dragons and peonies, gold diggers and pole diggers. Some screw loyally, some get screwed loyally, while some just get screwed. There are those who give it to the man they love, and those who love every man they give it to.

It's what to expect from the girls of Olongapo...

"More Sailor'n Limericks"

A Sailor can always find time to make up limericks that are often found in the head on the shitter walls. Here is a collection of a few I've collected over the years. Enjoy...

There once was a sailor named Lee,

Who rescued a gal from the sea.

She asked how to pay,

And he said, ”Just one way -

Go down for the third time on me.”

There once was a sailor named Jed,

Who took a cute mermaid to bed,

He said, “To be blunt,

I can’t find your cunt,

So give me a blow job instead.”

A Sailor who called himself Mort,

Took girls on cruise for some sport.

They thought it was nice,

Going round the world twice,

Before they had even left port.

There once was a Captain named Lew

Who sailed with the first all-girl crew.

Debarking the skiff,

He had clap and the syph,

And both of his balls were quite blue.

The only girl sailor, Ms. Hughes,

Told crewmen of good and bad news.

“The bad is the info,

That I’m not a nympho,

The good is, I’ll fuck for some booze.”

The once was a Swab by the shore,

Was nicknamed as Yo-Yo Galore.

His balls were so big,

When he dances the jig,

They bound up and down on the floor.

There once was an Airman named Sanger,

Was decked by a girl in the hangar.

She asked where in Maine

He was flying his plane,

And he said he was going to Bangor.

There once was a young sailor named Fred,

Who once dropped his soap in the head.

He bent to retrieve it

And couldn’t believe it,

“I am your first mate,” the Chief said!

There once was a Sailor named Mohr,

Who slept with a Japanese whore.

Because it was sideways

They actually tried ways

He never considered before.

There once was a sailor named Art,

Who just let out the world’s loudest fart.

No way to restrict’er;

It went off the Richter

And caused the Red Sea to re-part.

A whore who lived down by the pier

Had clap since the first of the year.

The sailors were wise

And avoided her thighs,

So she wanked them all off for a beer.

Here’s to the ship in the ocean,

Here’s to the girls on the land.

May the former be well rigged sir,

May the latter be well manned.

( Fin )

Friday, December 9, 2022

"Retired Sea Captain"

A retired Navy Captain met a former sailor who used to serve as his personal orderly while under him on the last ship the Captain had commanded. The Captain decided to hire him to do the same kind of work he did while he was in the Navy. He told him…

“Wake me up every morning at 0600.”

The next morning, at 0600 hours, the orderly strode into the retired Captain’s bedroom, shook him awake, and then leaned over and spanked the Captain’s wife on the backside …

“Alright missy, it’s back to town you go!”

"Navy in Art"

Rather it is by land, air, or sea no doubt we are the greatest Navy that has ever sailed the seas. Here is a great collection of art prints I’ve collected for your enjoyment…