Sunday, October 31, 2021

"Happy Halloween Shipmates"

 



In honor of Halloween, I thought I would share with you a Navy ghost story...


On August 16, 1942, the L-8, a Navy anti-submarine blimp, was setting off on a routine reconnaissance mission. The destination was the Farallon Islands, about 30 miles off the coast of San Francisco to look for approaching Japanese submarines. The blimp would take off from Treasure Island with two crew members, Ernest Cody and Charles Adams. They would circle the islands and return to base with any information.  

An hour into the flight, they radioed back that they had detected an oil spill and would keep investigating. At about 10:30 AM, two ships and a Pan Am airline saw the blimp and it appeared to be on course. Around noon, people on a beach near Dale City watched the L-8 crash into some rocks along the shore before heading back up into the sky. She would finally come down among a residential block just a short distance into the city. When rescuers rushed to the scene of the accident, they were shocked to find that the cockpit was empty. There was no sign of either Cody or Adams anywhere. 

As the Navy began its investigation, it was found that all equipment was in working order, parachutes and life rafts were still in place, and the radio was fine. Two life vests were missing, however. It was common practice for the men to wear them during a mission if they were to go over the water. 

As news of the missing crew spread, there were many theories proposed to explain their disappearance. One such theory suggested a potential fight that had broken out between the two which caused them to fall through an open door. Another proposed that they had somehow been captured by the enemy. Some even believed that UFOs were involved.

The L-8 was thoroughly investigated, but no clues were ever found. She was repaired and kept in service until 1982. However, after the crash, her duties were mostly nonmilitary and even used to broadcast sporting events. No trace of the two men have ever been found and the L-8 blimp mystery has never been solved.


Thursday, October 28, 2021

"The Poop Deck"



The Bosun’s Mate ushered a Seaman into the Captain’s Cabin and announced…

“Sir, I found this man on the poop deck masturbating, with both hands!”

The Captain roared …

“That’s awful! Throw him in the Brig and charge that man with Bigamy!”


 

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

"Short Limericks"

 



While it’s true that Sailors seldom make passes

At girls who are plain and wear glasses,

If you’ll sit on his lap,

And play with his flap,

He’ll start wondering how good your ass is!!!

 

The Sea Captain's young bride,
fell into the bay at low tide,
You could tell by her squeals,
that some of the eels,
had found a new dark place to hide.


A Sea-Going Girl from Madrid

Once had an affair with a Squid

Said she, “No more eels.”

No more Dolphins or Seals…

Once you’ve had a Squid, you’ve been did!!!

 

There once was an Annapolis Middy

Who was fondling his lady friend’s titty

She started to wiggle

She started to squirm

And that’s when the middy fed her the worm!

 

A Sea-Going Sweetheart so Brave

Had a gal that was too good to save

So she joined the Navy …

To put out her Gravy …

Every man in the Fleet wore out that Wave!


He couldn't be a swabbie, Davy;
He got seasick on waters wavy.
Still, he was with seamen,
Who, filled with his semen,
Said, "Davy, mate, you're in the Navy!"

 

She’s very pregnant,

The Sailor’s friend Rose.

Who the father is

GOB only knows!

 

( Fin )


Saturday, October 23, 2021

"Island Girls"

 When joining the ol’ Canoe Club many of us had nocturnal fantasies of those beautiful island girls of the south pacific! Being a West Coast Sailor for many years I’ve had many wonderful experiences in the islands. Here’s a collection of ‘toons’ for you all to enjoy of those grass skirt beauties we often dreamed about...

















































( Fin )


Thursday, October 21, 2021

"She's Expecting"



A young Seaman sought permission from his Skipper to leave the ship on special liberty during his duty day.

“You See” … he explained … “My wife is expecting!”

“OH” … said the Skipper … “Go ahead then and tell your wife I wish her luck.”

The following week the same sailor was back again with the same explanation … “My wife is expecting.”

The Skipper looked surprised … “Still expecting? Well, well son, you must be quite bothered. Of course you can have the time off.”

When the same sailor appeared again on the third week, the Skipper lost his temper.

“Don’t tell me your wife is still expecting” … he bellowed!

“Yes Sir!”

… says the Sailor …

“She’s still expecting.”

“What in hell is she expecting shipmate?”

Simply put … “Me” … said the sailor! 

 

Saturday, October 16, 2021

"The Taste of That S.O.S"

You all remember that infamous S.O.S more regularly known as Shit on a Shingle! Well, this one was written during WWII. I hope you all enjoy … 




Oh buddy of mine, oh dearest friend,

Oh, will you tell me true,

Is this stuff really Shit on a Shingle,

Or a nasty kind of glue?

For it stuck my jaws together,

And I’ve lost a tooth or two.

Fear not, old friend, it’s dinkum stuff.

An Old Navy kind of stew;

I saw the cook a’makin it,

He was grinding up a shoe.

With a little soap, some table wax,

And a cup of milk or two.

He seasoned it with dynamite,

And a bull cockroach, all blue.

Then to make it set just right,

The maestro of the stew,

He sat down at the table and,

Tossed in his other shoe!

He stripped his feet of both his socks,

And threw them in too;

He added salt and pepper,

Just to make a tasty brew.

He served it over first aid packs,

Of canvas nice and new.

I’ll have to say, You’re right, old friend,

It’s too damned tough to chew!


Thursday, October 14, 2021

"Extended Deployment"


A sailor on a long and extended deployment wrote home that he was on a ship in the China Sea...

“On the map, I’m three inches from Taiwan, about two inches south of Hong Kong, a few inches Northwest of the Philippines, and straight north of Rand McNally!"

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

"Tattooed Cartoons"

 Tattoos have been a hallmark of the SAILOR’n Man for centuries. They used to say, “the only people who get tattoos were sailors and whores.” Here we visit the humor of a Tattooed Sailor! I hope you all enjoy…




"Two Cheeks are better than one"



                           


"Censorship"




"Bearded Lady"

"Picasso"




"Tic-Tac-Toe"




"Manners in the presence of ladies"



"His better half"




"!!!"


"The Art of it all"

"The Needle"



"Don't poke the Bubble"


"Ticklish"


"Scratch-n-Sniff"


"Areola Buttocks"


"Show Off"


"To each their own"


"A picture that lasts forever"



"Disgruntled Spouse"


"The Man"



(Fin)



Thursday, October 7, 2021

“O’ Jeepney Driver”

 Sung to the tune of "Take Me Home, Country Roads," by John Denver



Almost heaven, Olongapo City,
Green, green mountains, shadow o'r Shit River.
Life is fast here, faster than your eyes,
Filipino haircut, if you butterfly.

O’ Jeepney driver, take me home,
To the girl, I belong,
Giling-giling, all night long,
Take me home, Jeepney driver.

All my mem’ries, are about her,
Sexy lady, down in Subic City.
Dark and thrusty, under the table,
Misty taste of Mojo, make me want to go home.

O’ Jeepney driver, take me home,
To the girl, I belong,
Giling-giling, all night long,
Take me home, Jeepney driver.

I hear her voice in the evening how she calls me,
She says, "Come on honey, it’s time to go to bed.
While walkin’ down the road I get a feelin' that I
Haven’t pissed since yesterday, I’m broke today.*

O’ Jeepney driver, take me home,
To the girl, I belong,
Giling-giling, all night long,
Take me home, Jeepney driver.

O' Jeepney driver, take me home
O' Jeepney driver, take me home.

 

Variation:
While drivin’ down the road I get a feelin'
She took all my Pesos yesterday, yesterday.






Tuesday, October 5, 2021

"Periscopes"


During Naval Operations the Officer Of the Deck on a submarine glanced up and noticed the periscope was in a dangerous raised position that could give away their location. He yelled down the conning tower …

“Hey Quartermaster, get crack’n and house the scope!”

“Just fine, thank you Sir! Just fine…” 

Friday, October 1, 2021

"21' October Pin-ups"

 Now Hear This … Here are a few uniformed beauties to gaze at… but don’t let Chief catch you skylark’n!!! Enjoy…











































( Fin )