"Happy New Year 2018"

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A New Year's resolution is a tradition, most common with us Americans! Lose weight, run your first race, drink less beer, chase less women…etc!! Where’s the fun in that I ask?!?

Here’s a “Half-Hitch” Cartoon to help you along with the New Year! I hope you all enjoy… so Happy New Year, and may King Neptune Smile upon your souls!!!

"The Three S's Of Hygiene"

I had heard that John F. Kennedy once said…

“You haven’t lived until you’ve shaved next to another man while he takes a shit!”

Did he say this? Who cares… the point being that nothing makes you realize how comfortable you’ve become in your surroundings when you’ve found yourself in these conditions! Boy, don’t we know… the most time efficient and hygienic process of getting ready … “The Shit, Shower & Shave!”

Of all the dirty tricks, it really makes me rave,

To have my shipmate come in to shit, when I begin to shave.

There’s just one time in all the day, when it’s solitude I crave,

But he sits and drops his stinking shit into that watery grave;

I don’t see why he couldn’t wait until I’ve had my shave.

Yes my friends… Shit, Shower, & Shave. Every champion has their winning rituals for performance. After all it's what you do every day that really counts!!!

'New Uniforms'

The Navy unveiled its new Battle Dress Uniform today. The utilitarian thing about the new uniform said Naval Representatives was that it has a built-in reversible Hawaiian shirt.

"This helps keep troops at the ready!"

… said one Navy Official ...

"If they are off duty they simply turn the shirt inside-out and come into work!"

"How Servicemen Are Like Christmas Trees"

"Some people treat our servicemen like Christmas trees. They decorate them, and then they throw them out when they've served their purpose!"

"Shark Bait"

Here comes an old salty sea story onboard the USS Robert L. Wilson DD/DDE 847 as told by Jack Scully of back in the 1950s’ Canoe Club Days …

Our ship was on her way home from a pirate catching mission in the Caribbean early in 1961. We were lollygagging along the equator coming north back to Norfolk. It had been a really hard two weeks, and so the skipper (Lt Cmdr Holt - a prince!) had the thought to hold swim call out there in that emerald green sea.

The water was so clear you could see a dropped quarter for thirty feet or more under the surface. The ship hove to and we rigged for the evolution and put the motor whaleboat in the water.

The boat was the standard US Navy, 26' wooden, motor whaler. It was a great sea boat and had a Gray Marine diesel. It was the official Navy drill to have the boat wet, with a corpsman and an officer aboard, for this sort of thing. Riflemen were appointed to watch for party-crashers, and everyone was lined up on the port lifelines ready to leap in when the Old Man gave the word. He himself was togged out in swim bloomers and wife beater undershirt ready to go . . . when somebody hollered "Shark!" It most certainly was, about 15 feet or so in length. This focused everyone's attention until somebody else yelled, "HOLY SHIT!" and another shark came out from under the ship, cruising lazily out toward the boat, which lay parallel to the ship. This bugger was H U G E. Big barrel and long as hell!

When he slid under the boat, along the keel, we saw that his snoot and tail extended past the ends of the boat. All interest in recreation evaporated instantly, and the Gunner's Mates were looking for a shot with their M1's. Others ran off to grab some concussion grenades. The sharks hadn't broken the surface, so the boat crew was wondering what all the galloping about, arm waving and yelling was about.

JC Cole was the corpsman, and a black guy. He finally looked over the gunwale to see what everyone was pointing at, and friends, I have heard all my life, about blacks being scared white, but, buddy, I've seen it. JC literally blanched. The Chief - no officer actually went out in the boat on chores - saw the "little" one and they were alongside in a flea fart and hooked on. And this time, and this time only, did they ride those monkey lines all the way up to the blocks and swung inboard onto the chocks, before they let go and came out of that boat.

From the 01 level, the chief looked back out there and saw the BIG one, and liked to crap. No time was wasted in securing from swim call and the Wandering Willy was soon shed of that place on the chart and headed home.

Nobody got a picture, but when 'Jaws' came out, I know about 90 guys who were believers.

"Merry Christmas Everyone"

“Paoli’s Medical Exploits”

More of Jerry Paoli’s fine art from the pages of All Hands Magazine and Beyond …