" Memorial Day "

 

Remembering those who gave it all …

" Navy Maternity "

 I REALIZED just how fully a Navy friend of mine had been indoctrinated in antisubmarine warfare when I asked him whether he knew the sex of the baby his wife was expecting. 

"We believe it's a boy," he answered, "but that analysis is based solely on low-confidence acoustic intelligence."

"He means," his wife clarified, "I had a sonogram."

" Debauchery on the High Seas "

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" Ten Commandments & Chain of Command "

 

From a Biblical sense, can you imagine what would have happened if the Ten Commandments had to be reviewed and approved up the chain of command? If that happened, we would have Ten Commandments, Thirty-Four Amendments, and two court martials contending violations of the Uniform Code of Military Justice! 

" Damage Control Cartoons "

 You know they say that every Marine is a rifleman. They also say that every Sailor is a fireman. Here’s a collection of Damage Control toons I put together for your enjoyment…

( Fin )

" Westpac Widow "

 

The Urban Dictionary defines the Westpac Widow as A US Navy wife who fucks around with other men while her man is out on deployment. Here’s a little poem I found on the Westpac Widow…

She stands on the pier with tears in her eyes;
His ship sails away while she waves her goodbyes;
She clasps her hands and gives them a wring;
Then tugs at her finger and twists off the ring
She slips in the clutch she wears at her side;
Having glistened her lips, she smacks them wide;
Adjusts her jewels and straightens her smock;
Her eyes now gleaming she turns back the clock
And returns to the bar where she learned how to deal
With young drunken Sailors copping a feel;
She runs to her car and looks in the window,
She looks just fine she’s a Westpac Widow.

 

It’s seven o’clock and time to get ready;
He looks in the mirror and holds his gaze steady;
Now raising the comb he sights down his part,
But stops and smiles, he’s always the star;
He picks up a ruler to measure the gap
Between his front teeth, he’s Italian you know;
He swings into action and dons his gold trinkets,
They flash in the light against his bronze neck;
Dabs on cologne and unbuttons his shirt
He’s ready to go, he’s smooth as a flirt;
One last look at the fine work of his tailor,
And it’s off for the bars, he’s a Westpac Sailor.

 

She’s home all alone, her daddy’s deployed,
Mommy’s gone out, to play with the boys;
It’s nearly bedtime and she looks at the jar
In the kitchen nook, by the breakfast bar;
It’s full of sweets, one hundred eighty inside,
Candy kisses from daddy, one for each night
He’s away overseas, for country and God,
And for family, too, in case he forgot;
While mommy’s away, and daddy’s deployed,
She looks at his picture and hopes that the void
In her heart will somehow bear the distance between,
Her and daddy, she misses her king.

 

 ( Fin )

" Surely You Got a Vase "

 

0n impulse, a young Seaman Schmuckatelli stopped at the flower shop and bought a dozen roses for his girlfriend. When he handed them to her, she immediately pulled off all her clothes and leaped onto the couch…

“This will be for the flowers,”

… She announced, stretching out enticingly.

“Oh, come now,” said Schmuckatelli. “Surely you've got a vase somewhere in this apartment.”