'Golden Urinal'



A young sailor comes to Quarters reeking of alcohol from the night before! He lurches through the ranks and is met by his scowling Chief, who is most definitely not happy.

"What the hell were you drink’n last night… you smell like a gauddamn brewery!”

"At this new bar!"

…he says…

"The Golden Saloon.  Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor and even the urinal's are gold!"

The Chief just doesn't believe his story, and the next day decides to check this place out! He looks in the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. He calls up the place to check the young sailor’s story.


"Is this the Golden Saloon?"

… the Chief asks when the bartender answers the phone.


"Yes it is,"

…bartender answers.

"Do you have huge golden doors?"

"Sure do."

"Do you have golden floors?"

"Most certainly do."


"What about golden urinals?"

There's a long pause… then the Chief hears the bartender yelling…

"Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night!"