We’ve all heard that generic name for a sailor
before … similar to “Joe Blow” or “John Q. Public.” Well here are a few
Schmuckatelli jokes for you to enjoy!
Seaman Schmuckatelli gets mail from home as it lies on his Chief’s table.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND".
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
------------------------------
Seaman Schmuckatelli is in the brig and a guard looks in his cell and sees him
hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?"
… he demands …
"Hanging myself,"
… he replies …
"The rope should be around your neck,"
… says the guard …
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
------------------------------
Another Seaman asks Seaman Schmuckatelli …
"Why do the divers always fall backward off
their boats?"
To which the Seaman Schmuckatelli replies …
"If they fell forward, they'd still be in the
boat."
------------------------------
A shipmate told Seaman Schmuckatelli …
"Christmas is on a Friday this year."
To which Seaman Schmuckatelli replied …
"Let's hope it's not the 13th."
------------------------------
Two Seaman Schmuckatellis found three grenades rolling around on the deck, and they decide to take them to the armory. The first one asked…
"What if one explodes before we get
there?"
… The other says …
"We'll lie and say we only found two."
------------------------------
A woman in base housing phoned her neighbor, Seaman Schmuckatelli and said …
"Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are “fooling around.” The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which Seaman Schmuckatelli replied …
"Well the joke's on all of you because I
wasn't even home yesterday!
------------------------------
A retired Seaman Schmuckatelli is in the bathroom and his wife shouts…
"Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers …
"Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."
I was not even HOME..... Classic Jody....
ReplyDeleteFunny
ReplyDelete