Saturday, November 7, 2020

"More Corny Nautical Things to Ponder"

 


Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some landlubbers appear bright until you hear them speak?

 

Do hydroplanes evaporate?

 

Is a sailor called "salt" because of a lifelong hatred of pepper?

 

Did the term "Nauti-cal" originate from a sex-crazed crew in California?

 

Was the word "Crui-sing" given to a bunch of swabbys while Christmas caroling?

 

If wood boats are made of wood, and fiberglass boats made of fiberglass, then what are airboats made of?

 

Sea battles never decide who's right, only who's left!

 

Do the Australians call the rest of the world, "up over?"

 

Do marine pilots take crash courses?

 

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what are fog horns made of?

 

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do whales look that way?

 

Some Navy rockets go into space, which we all know is a big vacuum. So tell me, who changes the bag?

 

Speaking of space, if athletes get athlete's foot does that mean astronauts get mistletoe? Why is it called a lighthouse when it weighs so much?

 

Sea captains can be port-ly.

 

Why is it that sea captains don't like crew cuts?

 

Captains of ships have a lot of latitude.

 

Sunglasses for sailors had better be see-worthy.

 

Sailors like to seas opportunities.

 

A guy who crosses the ocean twice without a shower is a dirty double-crosser.

 

A sailor eating alphabet soup found the seven C's.

 

A sailor has ties to home but is knot there often.

 

Sailors often come from have-knot countries.

 

I was going to go sailing and went shopping for a hat but started to reconsider when they gave me a stern look and asked for my capsize.

 

Is a leak in the back of the ship a stern warning?

 

Two sailors named Brad Stowe and Ben Lowe had to B.stow their things B.low.

 

And last but not least …

 

When a pirate writes his wooden leg into his will is he leaving his leg-acy?


 


(FIN)


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