"As Football Season Comes to an End"

 

At the beginning of the Army-Navy football game, the coin toss was made. The Navy captain shouts, HEADS followed by the Army captain shouting LATRINES.

An Army football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the KMart came out and unplugged it.

Navy is playing Army, which has a first down with three minutes left in the half. An Army fan sets off a firecracker, and the Navy, thinking it's the end of the half, runs off the field. Three plays later, Army punts.

Q: Why doesn't Army have ice on the sidelines during games?

A: The guy with the recipe graduated.

The Army coach gave his Army football team a few days off. Several decided to go down to Panama City Beach for fun and relaxation. Coach saw the players the first day back at practice and asked about their vacation.

 "Not good coach," said the players. "We never made it to the beach."

"Why not," the coach asked, "car trouble?"

"No," they replied, "every few miles down the interstate we saw signs that said, 'Exit, Clean Restrooms'. You have no idea how many restrooms we cleaned between West Point and Panama City."

Two Army football players were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Military Academy. Soon after the test began the first guy turned to the second guy and asks, “Old MacDonald had a what?”

The other replies, “He had a farm.”

The first asks, “How do you spell it?”

To which the second replied, “E-I-E-I-O.”