A hazy
circle round the sun or moon… Life jackets are not to be worn as a makeshift
hat and I don’t give a guaddamned if yours blew overboard, that’s not my
problem!
- - -
Stars to ye
right, tie the jib tight. Stars to ye left… we’re not paying you to sit
out here and look at the gauddamned stars all night, OK?
- - -
When swells
roll steady from east to west… everyone on this boat is responsible for
cleaning up their own puke, absolutely no exceptions!
- - -
A pod of dolphins
at your bow… Don’t everyone rush to the front at the same time please, it’s
fucking dangerous!
- - -
Evening red
and morning grey… The next son-of-a-bitch who fires a flare because they “want to see how it looks” is staying on
the boat when we dock in Phuket, is that clear?
- - -
If the wind
bears the scent of lavender afore noon… Grab a plunger and meet me in the crew shitters
in ten minutes!
- - -
Yellow sky
at night… Why, Why, Why would you start a fight with the ship’s cook, the one
guy on this boat with access to knives?
- - -
Should a mob
of gulls follow your mast… I thought I told you morons to stop feeding the
fucking seagulls!
- - -
Dense fog
arriving swiftly at dawn… No one on this boat wants to hear you singing Bob
Marley songs in your bunk every night so cut that shit out!
- - -
Awake to dew
still fresh on the grass… You got drunk and passed out in port again and the
boat is definitely gone!
- - -
Should a
crow released be flying dead straight… Just
follow the son-of-a-bitch, alright?!?
- - -
Clouds in
the shape of a buxom young lass… That’s inappropriate and we absolutely will
not tolerate any fucking environment that is hostile towards the ‘split tails,’
I mean the women on this ship!
- - -
Orange sky
at morning.. Are you absolutely fucking sure it’s not red? Completely,
positively, 100% certain? That looks pretty gauddamned red to me. If it’s
actually red and this shit gets real, your ass is mine!!!
And that is
how the Chief Says to Blow the Man Down!!!
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