“How to act on Liberty in Port”

 

If you are a good American Sailor you will naturally want to spread the Good Will when you are in a foreign port and make yourself and your country popular with the natives. As they say,

“You are an Ambassador for the United States so act like one.”

Upon hitting the beach, buy funny native hats and always tip them politely, both male and female natives, at the same time giving them a friendly greeting such as “Whad’ya know Joe!” or “Open the door, Richard!” The latter is especially appropriate if the native happens to be sitting in front of his own hut or place of business.

Always carry plenty of liquor and offer it freely to everyone you meet, taking care not to overlook the native women. Don’t be afraid of asking them to drink out of the bottle; they’re used to it… and tip your hostesses well!

Hire tuk-tuk and jeepney vehicles but never sit down in them. Stand up and rock them from side to side as you drink and sing gay songs such as “Working for the Yankee Dollar!” Don’t hesitate to throw empty bottles in the streets; the natives use the glass for quaint jewelry.

When crossing walking bridges over foreign rivers and waterways, be sure to toss in a coin or two to the young native in the bongo boat down below. This is much appreciated by the local population. Be sure to tuck your wallets, watches, and loose jewelry in hard-to-find areas as they find themselves missing at the oddest moments.

When entering a local establishment of drink and dance, be sure to accommodate the “buy me drink” girls as they turn into the most adoring hostesses you will ever meet. Be sure to hook up the “Mamasan” as well as she can knock off a good chunk of the price provided she likes you.

If you find yourself being hauled back to the ship by Shore Patrol with vomit covering your shirt, your fly hanging wide open, and your mouth bloody while missing a few teeth, always lay on your left side while in uniform to hide your rank insignia so they will think you are an officer.

When on duty bringing on stores, you’ll probably find plenty of old oranges and grapefruit lying loose around the messdecks. Don’t be selfish; throw them to the stevedores on the dock along with a carton of smokes and maybe throw in a Zippo for good measure!

(FiN)