"No-Shitters turned to Fairytales"

Remember those awesome training films we had back in Boot? The Navy has always taught its sailors the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases. We sat and watched those silly Suzie Rotten Crotch 8mm films where the local female population would land your butt right into sick call with the crabs, gonorrhea, chlamydia, or maybe even the notorious black clap or the herpesyphilitis … you know the ones they used to tell us about from the Vietnam hookers. I remember hearing whore stories about young men being sent to an island like a leper and left there to let their tally whackers fall off. It was referred to as the Island of the Black Clap.

“Now listen up! You men need to use some gauddamn common sense when dealing with those boom-boom girls. Not only are they conniving and treacherous, but they also carry the venereal disease. You don’t want to end up in that South Sea island where they keep men who have the Black Clap that has no response to penicillin. They’re not allowed back in the states. We don’t want to be passing that shit around on the home front. Your family will get a letter back home letting them know you’ve been declared “MIA”… “

Or how about the spring-loaded instrument they would stick up your urethra only to pull a little trigger that would push little treble hook spines out to drag all the puss and blockage out so you could pee… of course those were fairytales but to us young novice types, they were good no-shitt’n sea story material! Hell, we didn’t know any better until we found our way to our first foreign port. Then the idea of catching the incurable clap went to the wayside as pros and penicillin did their thing. Here we have a few good ol’ comic shorts and posters from over the years that give a good idea of how we saw such things… as my Chief used to say when out on the town somewhere in the Seventh Fleet…

“Welcome to Casa Caca, home of Mamasan and her beautiful bargirls!”

( FiN )