"Fitrep Surprise"

 

The Navy writes Evals & Fitreps to rate their sailors on performance as we all know. The following are actual excerpts taken from these evaluations over the years ...

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

I would not breed with this sailor.

This sailor is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t be.

When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

Technically sound, but socially impossible.

This sailor reminds me of a gyroscope, always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

When he joined my ship, this officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.

This sailor has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and the rest of my sailors to carry him from bar to bar.

Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

He has the wisdom of youth and the energy of old age.

This sailor should go far – and the sooner he starts, the better.

In my opinion, this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

The only ship I would recommend this sailor for is Citizenship.

Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

This sailor is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 

( Fin )