"Fish Story"

 

The one is from an old salt by the name of Gary Peters of the USS DeHaven DD 727 from way back when … I hope you like fish stories!

There was a young bos'n seaman, new to the fleet. After swabbing the fantail one evening at sea, he proceeded to let the swab over the fantail to rinse. The young fellow was afraid he'd lose the swab so he started twisting some heavy wire around it and the tie line left some large loops in the wire too. Well, he drops the swab in the drink and lights up. He was standing there talking to a buddy who suddenly shouts…

"Look at that swab!"

Our deck tech looked back in time to see a large fish come flyin' outta the water attached to his swab line. He and his buddy tried like hell pulling it in but it was no use, the fish was just too heavy and the ship was making 15 knots. Well, he’d just about cut everything loose when some sonar types showed up to do a BT drop. These guys were taking in the scene and took over. They attached the steel cable from the BT winch to the bosn's swab line and kicked on the juice. Well, that fish put up one hell of a fight but he was plain outclassed. They got that fish up on deck and put him down with a couple of swats from a marlinspike. The whole crew had nothing but fish to eat for a week. Traded some to the carrier for new movies too.

"Bootcamp Night Watch"

A Bootcamp Recruit was standing his first night watch on guard duty when he saw a man's shadow coming out of the passageway. He Shouts...

"Halt who goes there"?

"Chief Jackson'!”

… A minute or two of silence …

"Well Recruit, Are you going to leave me standing here like this all night"?

"Oh No Sir, Parade Rest!"

 

"More Old Cartoon Humor Magazines"

 More classic Cartoon Humor & Jokes magazines showing the lighter side of a Crackerjack Sailor’s daily life! I hope you all enjoy…

( Fin )

 

"My Name is Chuck..."

 

There once was a retired Navy Chief whose wife had died and left him with three beautiful teenage daughters who liked to date young Navy guys. Every weekend, when they went out on dates, the old Chief would stand at the door with his shotgun, making it clear to their dates he wanted no trouble from them.

Another Saturday night came around. About 1800, there was a knock on the door. The old Chief answered and the young Seaman said,

“Hi, my name’s Joe. I’m here for Flo. I’m taking her to the show. Is she ready to go?”

The old Chief thought he was a clever swab and wished them a good time. A few minutes later, another knock was heard. A second young Seaman appeared and said,

“Hi, I’m Eddie. I’m here for Betty. I’m taking her for spaghetti. I hope she’s ready.”

He thought that he must know Joe, but bade them off as well with his best wishes. A few minutes after that, a third knock was heard.

“Hi, my name is Chuck…”

The old Chief shot him!

"Kamikaze"

 

An American Navy pilot went into a Japanese bar and sat next to an old Japanese gentleman.

“My name is Lieutenant Wilson, what’s your name?”

“My name is Teriyaki!”

“Teriyaki?”

“Yes!”

“Well Teriyaki, did you ever serve in the military?”

“Yes, I was fighter pilot in big war. I was Kamikaze!”

“Kamikaze? But I thought Kamikaze pilots crashed into warships on suicide missions.”

“Yes, that is right.”

“Then Teriyaki, how come you’re still alive?”

“Because I Chicken Teriyaki!”

 

“When the Natives are Restless”

 

Kuman-I-Wanna-Laya

… Dancing on Magsaysay …

“Gots to see why the grass is so deep”

“But I’ll really be back in one year”

“Time to mow it down and see what’s underneath”

“He’s the sacrificial Skipper”

… OPSEC in Subic …

(Fin)

"Dirty Magazines"

 

After a long day, a Gunnersmate’s wife had received a phone call from her husband...

“Sorry honey, I’m going to be late coming home. We had an inspection today and the XO found some dirty magazines.”

… To which his wife replied …

“What the hell … You sailors are grown men! I’m your wife for fuck’s sake and if I don’t see the problem, then what’s the harm of a few nudie books?

Her husband interrupted...

"Honey, when I said ‘dirty magazines,’ I meant the spaces we store our ammo onboard ship."

"More Salty Sea Going Shenanigans"

 More old Salty Sea Going Sailor Shenanigans all onboard while haze grey and underway. I hope you like this little collection of shipmates at their best or in some cases worst while out at sea …

 

( Fin )