"More Sailor'n Limericks"

 A Sailor can always find time to make up limericks that are often found in the head on the shitter walls. Here is a collection of a few I've collected over the years. Enjoy...

There once was a sailor named Lee,

Who rescued a gal from the sea.

She asked how to pay,

And he said, ”Just one way -

Go down for the third time on me.”  

There once was a sailor named Jed,

Who took a cute mermaid to bed,

He said, “To be blunt,

I can’t find your cunt,

So give me a blow job instead.”

 

A Sailor who called himself Mort,

Took girls on cruise for some sport.

They thought it was nice,

Going round the world twice,

Before they had even left port.

 

There once was a Captain named Lew

Who sailed with the first all-girl crew.

Debarking the skiff,

He had clap and the syph,

And both of his balls were quite blue.

 

The only girl sailor, Ms. Hughes,

Told crewmen of good and bad news.

“The bad is the info,

That I’m not a nympho,

The good is, I’ll fuck for some booze.”

  

The once was a Swab by the shore,

Was nicknamed as Yo-Yo Galore.

His balls were so big,

When he dances the jig,

They bound up and down on the floor.

 

There once was an Airman named Sanger,

Was decked by a girl in the hangar.

She asked where in Maine

He was flying his plane,

And he said he was going to Bangor.

 

 There once was a young sailor named Fred,

Who once dropped his soap in the head.

He bent to retrieve it

And couldn’t believe it,

“I am your first mate,” the Chief said!

  

There once was a Sailor named Mohr,

Who slept with a Japanese whore.

Because it was sideways

They actually tried ways

He never considered before.

 

There once was a sailor named Art,

Who just let out the world’s loudest fart.

No way to restrict’er;

It went off the Richter

And caused the Red Sea to re-part.

 

A whore who lived down by the pier

Had clap since the first of the year.

The sailors were wise

And avoided her thighs,

So she wanked them all off for a beer.

Here’s to the ship in the ocean,

Here’s to the girls on the land.

May the former be well rigged sir,

May the latter be well manned.

 

( Fin )