A shipwrecked sailor who had spent many years on a
remote South Pacific island was finally rescued! When he arrived in California,
reporters asked him what he had done for sex…
"Oh, there were plenty of passable and willing native girls on the island!"
… he replied …
"But they all either had V.D. or T.B."
"That must have been frustrating!"
… commented one of the newsmen …
"Not at all!"
… said the sailor …
"If a girl coughed, I screwed her!"
A
daughter of a farming man, a lass with raven locks
I met her at the Cock & Bulls, a tavern by the docks
Although we courted but a week, my love for her persisted
For when with her, we swived in ways I never knew existed!
Chorus:
She's a whore, yes a whore
A lass of myth and lore
A pontifex of oral sex
She'll ride you till you're sore
Yes, she's a whore, yes a whore
She is dear to fleet and corps
Her legs are splayed, we'll all get laid
By the whore that we adore
Her
bosoms were named Mary, for they were pure and white
Her muff was named Elizabeth, 'cause it was nice and tight
Her nips were named Daisy and Rose, for they're like flowering buds
But her ass was named the River Thames, 'cause it is full of mud!
Chorus
Well, soon after we parted ways, I saw her with me friend
They courted but a week or two, but that came to an end
She then did hop from bed to bed, but what made me so mad
'Twas after several months had passed I saw her with me dad!
Chorus
One day, while at the tavern here, I heard unhappy news
This country lass had died of clap - oh, what a jewel to lose
'Tis not as sad as one may think, as I soon realized
For all those saints now pass her 'round that big bed in the sky!
Chorus
THAT WHORE!
( Fin )
A sailor
has been trying to pick up on this pretty girl for a date for weeks and she
finally says yes. He takes her out for a nice meal and buys her some expensive
wine to lube her up.
On the
way home, he pulls over on the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start
making out and he’s getting pretty excited as he starts to reach under her
skirt and she stops him…
“Sorry
Sailor, but I’m a virgin and I plan on staying that way tonight.”
“Well
okay, how about a blow job?”
“Yuck!”
… she
says …
“I’m not
putting that thing in my mouth!”
“Well
then, how about a hand job?”
“I’ve
never done that. What do I have to do?”
“Well,”
… he
answers …
“Remember
when you were a kid and you used to shake the Coke bottle and spray your
brother with it?”
… she
nods …
“Well, it’s
just like that.”
So, he
pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking away. A few minutes go
by, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts running
out of his nose, wax blows out his ears, and he screams in pain…
“What’s
wrong?”
… she
cries …
“Take your thumb off the end!!”
Like the famed cherry blossoms come with the Japanese springtime, Babysan came with the Occupation, and it is hard to say which brings more color and charm to the small Far Eastern country. One is inclined, however, to stake his yen on Babysan as she is in bloom all year around. Babysan was a comic created by American artist Bill Hume while he was stationed in Japan in the 1950s. The comic depicts American sailors interacting with a pin-up style Japanese woman and the title comes from the word "baby," an affectionate term Americans use, and "san" which is an honorary term used by the Japanese. It translates literally to Miss Baby. I hope you enjoy this collection of Babysan cartoons I’ve provided for your enjoyment…
While
pulling into the pier from a long deployment …
“Who’s
the gal with the ugly face?”
“That’s
my wife!”
“Lovely
figure she has.”
While
discussing relationships with shipmates…
“I’ve
spent a fortune on my girl’s face.”
“Paying
for expensive cosmetics?”
“No,
feeding her in expensive restaurants.”
Ship’s
Boatswain getting after his deck force…
“I wish
you wouldn’t whistle while you work.”
“I wasn’t
working, I was only whistling.”
Two
sailors sitting in the cruise lounge …
“What’s
that book there you got?”
“What
every woman wants.”
“Hand it
over, so I can see if they spelled my name right!”
Two
sailors sitting around telling ghost stories …
“What’s
that person called who brings you in contact with the spirit world?”
“A
bartender?”
A Sailor
to his girlfriend …
“Ever
since I met you, I can’t eat, I can’t
drink, I can’t sleep …”
“But why?”
“I’m
broke!”
A Sailor talking
to the barmaid as he’s sitting down at the bar …
“Boy am I
thirsty!”
“I’ll get
you water.”
“I said
thirsty, not dirty!”
Two
Sailors talking about their wives …
“My wife
is very hard to please.”
“She must
have just gotten that way.”
“Why do
you say that?”
“She
married you didn’t she?”
A Sailor
explaining himself at Captain’s Mast…
“Sir, all
I want is some justice.”
“Son, I’d like to help, but Seaman-Recruit is the lowest rank I can give you!”
.jpg)
Dear
Abby,
I have a
problem. I have two brothers. One brother is a Boatswain in the Navy, and the other
was put to death in the electric chair for a gruesome multiple murder. My
mother died from insanity caused by syphilis when I was only three years old.
My sisters are prostitutes, and my father sells narcotics to high school
students. Recently I met a girl who was just released from prison. She was
sentenced for smothering her illegitimate child to death. I want to marry her.
My
problem is – if I marry this girl, should I tell her about my brother who is a
Boatswain in the Navy?
Signed,
Dilemma
It’s September, and as usual, we’ve got a large selection of ‘Eye Candy’ for your pleasure. I hope you like these aviation beauties as much as I enjoyed collecting them. Go Navy …
