"Have a Coke"

A sailor has been trying to pick up on this pretty girl for a date for weeks and she finally says yes. He takes her out for a nice meal and buys her some expensive wine to lube her up.

On the way home, he pulls over on the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start making out and he’s getting pretty excited as he starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him…

“Sorry Sailor, but I’m a virgin and I plan on staying that way tonight.”

“Well okay, how about a blow job?”

“Yuck!”

… she says …

“I’m not putting that thing in my mouth!”

“Well then, how about a hand job?”

“I’ve never done that. What do I have to do?”

“Well,”

… he answers …

“Remember when you were a kid and you used to shake the Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?”

… she nods …

“Well, it’s just like that.”

So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking away. A few minutes go by, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts running out of his nose, wax blows out his ears, and he screams in pain…

“What’s wrong?”

… she cries …

“Take your thumb off the end!!”