While
pulling into the pier from a long deployment …
“Who’s
the gal with the ugly face?”
“That’s
my wife!”
“Lovely
figure she has.”
While
discussing relationships with shipmates…
“I’ve
spent a fortune on my girl’s face.”
“Paying
for expensive cosmetics?”
“No,
feeding her in expensive restaurants.”
Ship’s
Boatswain getting after his deck force…
“I wish
you wouldn’t whistle while you work.”
“I wasn’t
working, I was only whistling.”
Two
sailors sitting in the cruise lounge …
“What’s
that book there you got?”
“What
every woman wants.”
“Hand it
over, so I can see if they spelled my name right!”
Two
sailors sitting around telling ghost stories …
“What’s
that person called who brings you in contact with the spirit world?”
“A
bartender?”
A Sailor
to his girlfriend …
“Ever
since I met you, I can’t eat, I can’t
drink, I can’t sleep …”
“But why?”
“I’m
broke!”
A Sailor talking
to the barmaid as he’s sitting down at the bar …
“Boy am I
thirsty!”
“I’ll get
you water.”
“I said
thirsty, not dirty!”
Two
Sailors talking about their wives …
“My wife
is very hard to please.”
“She must
have just gotten that way.”
“Why do
you say that?”
“She
married you didn’t she?”
A Sailor
explaining himself at Captain’s Mast…
“Sir, all
I want is some justice.”
“Son, I’d like to help, but Seaman-Recruit is the lowest rank I can give you!”
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Good ones!!!
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