"Liberty"

 

After months out at sea the young sailor asked the old sailor …

“Where is the booze, where are the broads they told me about? How do you do this, we have been out for months.”

The old sailor gives him a stern look and says …

“We have simulated liberty. What is that you ask? We stand on deck, throw all our money overboard, hit our head on the bulkhead on the way down to the berthing, open the footlocker, whip out our Johnson, bang it a few times with the locker door, then go to sleep. Wake up sore head, sore Johnson, no money, simulated liberty.....Ha Ha!”

"APRIL 21' Installment of Nautical Pin-ups"

Every time I post one of these pin-up collections, I get ol’ salts saying,

“I never saw a sailor that looked like that before. If I did, I never would have gotten out!” 

Well, praise the gods, angels, and all of hell’s demons of sexual temptations that we didn’t see them like this or there’d be a lot of explaining to do due to all the fanroom hanky-panky that would’ve been going on … as if there isn’t enough of it already! I hope you enjoy this month’s installment of Nautical Pin-Up Girls Gone Wild!!!

( Fin )

"Fish Story"

 

The one is from an old salt by the name of Gary Peters of the USS DeHaven DD 727 from way back when … I hope you like fish stories!

There was a young bos'n seaman, new to the fleet. After swabbing the fantail one evening at sea, he proceeded to let the swab over the fantail to rinse. The young fellow was afraid he'd lose the swab so he started twisting some heavy wire around it and the tie line left some large loops in the wire too. Well, he drops the swab in the drink and lights up. He was standing there talking to a buddy who suddenly shouts…

"Look at that swab!"

Our deck tech looked back in time to see a large fish come flyin' outta the water attached to his swab line. He and his buddy tried like hell pulling it in but it was no use, the fish was just too heavy and the ship was making 15 knots. Well, he’d just about cut everything loose when some sonar types showed up to do a BT drop. These guys were taking in the scene and took over. They attached the steel cable from the BT winch to the bosn's swab line and kicked on the juice. Well, that fish put up one hell of a fight but he was plain outclassed. They got that fish up on deck and put him down with a couple of swats from a marlinspike. The whole crew had nothing but fish to eat for a week. Traded some to the carrier for new movies too.

"Bootcamp Night Watch"

A Bootcamp Recruit was standing his first night watch on guard duty when he saw a man's shadow coming out of the passageway. He Shouts...

"Halt who goes there"?

"Chief Jackson'!”

… A minute or two of silence …

"Well Recruit, Are you going to leave me standing here like this all night"?

"Oh No Sir, Parade Rest!"

 

"More Old Cartoon Humor Magazines"

 More classic Cartoon Humor & Jokes magazines showing the lighter side of a Crackerjack Sailor’s daily life! I hope you all enjoy…

( Fin )

 

"My Name is Chuck..."

 

There once was a retired Navy Chief whose wife had died and left him with three beautiful teenage daughters who liked to date young Navy guys. Every weekend, when they went out on dates, the old Chief would stand at the door with his shotgun, making it clear to their dates he wanted no trouble from them.

Another Saturday night came around. About 1800, there was a knock on the door. The old Chief answered and the young Seaman said,

“Hi, my name’s Joe. I’m here for Flo. I’m taking her to the show. Is she ready to go?”

The old Chief thought he was a clever swab and wished them a good time. A few minutes later, another knock was heard. A second young Seaman appeared and said,

“Hi, I’m Eddie. I’m here for Betty. I’m taking her for spaghetti. I hope she’s ready.”

He thought that he must know Joe, but bade them off as well with his best wishes. A few minutes after that, a third knock was heard.

“Hi, my name is Chuck…”

The old Chief shot him!

"Kamikaze"

 

An American Navy pilot went into a Japanese bar and sat next to an old Japanese gentleman.

“My name is Lieutenant Wilson, what’s your name?”

“My name is Teriyaki!”

“Teriyaki?”

“Yes!”

“Well Teriyaki, did you ever serve in the military?”

“Yes, I was fighter pilot in big war. I was Kamikaze!”

“Kamikaze? But I thought Kamikaze pilots crashed into warships on suicide missions.”

“Yes, that is right.”

“Then Teriyaki, how come you’re still alive?”

“Because I Chicken Teriyaki!”