"Six Feet Of Stretch"

While on one of my ships as a young Second Class Petty Officer, my wife didn’t care much for my Chief! He was well known for making life miserable within the Division giving out busy work and making us late getting home while in port.

During a Divisional get together the Chief introduced himself to my wife as he had never met her before. A discussion ensued something like this…

“So what is it that you do for a living?”

“Oh, I work in the medical field as a rectum stretcher!”

 “And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well…"

… She said…

"I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand I’m in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"Oh my, and just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"

… He had to ask …

"You give him a set of anchors and call him a Chief!"