It’s funny
because I remember when I was the Berthing Petty Officer, the junior guys would
call me the Berthing Nazi! From 0800 to 1100 hours it was nothing but assholes and elbows in the air!! This here is a revised excerpt from the book,
“Steve McQueen Would Have Been Proud” that I whole heartedly related with as if
I was there…
“Hey, listen up, shit heads! I ain’t saying this
more than once! Them’s pissers... Men piss in them. Them’s shitters… Men shit
in them. Come 1030 when the XO inspects, they ain’t pissers and shitters no
more! Them’s dinner plates! I’m going to
serve the XO a steak dinner with all the trimmings on the cleanest pisser he’s
ever seen!”
The Berthing
Petty Officer took a long swallow from his coffee cup, grimacing as the black
acid went down…
“I don’t care how you do it, lick ‘em clean if you
want, but it’s easier with the brush. And when you’re done, put a ‘Secured’ sign
on ‘em or you’ll have a whole line of jokers in here pissing on the XO’s dinner
plates!”
The Berthing
Petty Officer showed the berthing cleaners the ‘Secured’ signs and the
disinfectant in the storage locker, and then let out a long belch that smelled
of coffee grounds.
“I’m making
a coffee run to the messdecks. Have them pissers scrubbed out before I get
back.”
The berthing
cleaner asked…
“What if more than one guy…”
“Leave on pisser and one shitter open for the
crew. The rest are secured for
inspection. If some asshole comes in
holding his crotch, send him to that last pisser. You need a college diploma to
figger that out?”
The berthing
cleaners just nodded. After the Berthing
Petty Officer left, they stared at eight urinals… Dinner Plates! Above them all
was a hand scribbled sign that read…
“DO NOT THROW CIGGIE BUTTS IN THE PISSERS. IT MAKES THEM SOGGY AND HARD TO LITE.”
... Once again…
I recommend this book! It’s brilliant!!!
Never heard of any "berthing petty officer." There was usually one guy to clean the berthing compartment. If you were lucky there was one extra to clean the head.
ReplyDeleteThere was a duty head. It would rotate between divisions. The other compartments were secured for the morning until after inspection...period...
The LPO watched over the evolution to make sure the spaces were ready for the XO's inspection.
Berthing P.O? lol Must have been on a carrier where they had a lot of extra hands
Even destroyers have a platoon of berthing cleaners these days...
Delete"Coop Bitch" was an accepted term on carriers back in the day...
ReplyDelete