"Naughty Stories"

I haven’t posted one recently from the “Preacher,” Owyn Bradford, but this is a good one I couldn’t pass up! I hope you all enjoy …

Now shipmates this ain't no shit, okay? Way back in the day it was a lazy Friday and I had my stuff all done, everyone was gone & I wasn't ready to hit the beach yet, so I was sitting around the shop all by myself, reading a pretty naughty magazine. In walks the XO.

"Whatcha doing, Preacher?"

I hold up the mag. He grins…

"Got more?"

"Yessir XO, over in the corner."

He takes his hat off, takes a mag, and sits down. We're reading, we're smoking. I toss my book down with a snort and pick up another one.

"What's the matter?"

"Ahhh... crap, sir. Pics are good, but the stories are real sophomoric junk."

He smiles, kinda lopsided.

"And I suppose you could do better."

My head comes up fast and I stare, sensing a challenge …

"Matter of fact, sir, I could."

We end up making a bet. I write a story and send it to them. They buy it, it's $50 in my pocket. I get a rejection slip, XO's up half a hundred. He leaves after a while. I get busy writing. Hell with the beach! LOL That night, I go searching, find the XO, show him the story and sit while he reads it. Finally he tosses it down…

"Perversion. Junk. They'd be fools to buy this. Our bet still on?"

I pick up the manuscript…

"Sure is, XO."

… He shakes his head with a rueful grin as I leave.

Maybe a month later I go up and sit down with XO. I open an envelope and hand him a "please give us more like this" letter and check …

"Well, sir? Still think the folks at this mag are fools?"

He takes out his wallet, hands me three tens and a twenty.

"All this proves, Preacher, is that somewhere in this big wild wonderful world there are people as twisted and bent as you are."

We both laugh, I put money in pocket, letter and check in envelope, and start for the door …

"Preacher" …

… he calls, I turn.

"Yessir?"

"If you do write anything more for these people, lemme see it first, okay?"

Here endeth the reading of the morning lesson. Praise be to Neptune.