It was
another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing
behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped
out my Whopper and whispered …
"Hey
Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar
Bar?"
Well, she
immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! I
couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that
this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers
and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started
to scream …
"Oh
Henry, Oh Henry!"
Soon she
was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I
blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She
asked me if I was into M&M, but I said …
"Hey
Chicklet, no kinky stuff." I said, "Look you little Reese's Pieces,
don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip
it up your Bit 'O' Honey?"
What a
piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too as she screamed …
"Oh
Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!"
… as I
rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I
was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden... my Starburst!
Yeah, as
luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Cadbury Egg
in her stomach. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped a …
Baby Ruth!
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