"Hanky-Panky on the Boat Deck"

This isn’t a 'women on ships' diatribe like you might of thought. I have quite the talent for stepping in a pile of manure strictly by accident when threading these yarns so names will be withheld to protect the guilty! No need in me jumping into a briar patch butt nekkit in a hail storm.

Now this story started one night long ago standing watch in the Aft CIWS Mount onboard the USS Rainier, finest ship in the fleet.  She was one of the first ships commissioned with women in mind in a coexistent coed crew.  Scuttlebutt had it there was some hanky-panky going on in some of the most obvious places onboard. 

One particular night I remember going outside of the CIWS Mount and it looked like some kind of unnatural act going on down on the boat deck.  I couldn’t tell if my eyes were deceiving me after darken ship or if there was a couple slow dancing under the Captain’s Gig.  Since it was dark and I couldn’t hear anything I just turned around and minded my own business.

Well one night a couple years later towards the end of my stint onboard, I had a chat with a young female GM3 on the smoke deck about one of our fellow shipmates she used to fancy. When she delved into the intricacies of her relationship with this fella, I had kind of a hard time imagining the two together. But I think it was the iniquitous danger of doing the dirty onboard that got to most shipmates.   

GM3 told me about how her and BM3 Umpty-squat would frequently have their fifteen minute hobby horse ride in the Captains Gig on the aft port side of the ship. That brings us back to what I had always thought I knew, but was never sure until she let me in on the little secret.

She said they climbed up into the boat just as it go dark. BM3 said …

"Those kapoks make for good sleeping, They’re also good for something else!"

She asked …

“And what’s that?”

She said BM3 undid his zipper on his coveralls and that was that. You can only guess the rest.

Hell yeah, I knew my eyes didn’t deceive me. It’s not like she was the organized boat whore. There were many of those onboard.  You knew that somewhere, some place, there was some hanky-panky going on and it was inevitable that it would happen. I’d always heard many stories but not a lot of them were first hand.  I gotta say, it’s not like it was back in the day before women were onboard ships … 

♫♪ You and me baby we ain’t nothing but mammals, doing it like they do it on the Discovery channel ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

You know what they say ... "Love ain’t nothing but a skin game!!!"