"Shipmates Say the Damnedest Things"

 

When you spend as much time with shipmates as I have, you come to realize the whole crew of scallywags belonged in an asylum. Here is a small collection of words and phrases I’ve heard coming from the lips of those ol’ Canoe Club rapscallions over the years…

From a shipmate who came from a tender back in the day…

“My last ship was called the egg factory … Everybody onboard got laid!”

A shipmate explaining what he did while TAD…

“When I was sent with other shipmates to take part in training or exercises outside of our command it was called "TAD" or Travelling Around Drunk!”

 

Referring to the Westpac Widow at the EN Club…

“She calls her love pot the Bermuda Triangle … lots of seamen get lost in it.”

Dumb Sailor and his Pick-up lines…

“Hey, the Navy called, they want their heat-seeking missiles back, and for you to stop wearing that dress, you look so hot it interferes with the guidance system.”

Shipmate when he came back off of leave…

Mom said: "I don't care what you call it on the ship. In this house you'll call it chipped beef on toast."

The one-night-stand before heading back to the ship…

“Hey sailor, you left your other discharge here too…”

Chucky ‘V’ aviator when asked about landing on a carrier…

“Shucks, you can land anywhere,” said Lieutenant Jones. “Nothing to it. What you want to do is find the flight deck before you do it.”

Female shipmate underway and horny …

You had me at… “Get in the fanroom while I close and lock the door!”

Petty Officer of the Watch on the USS Puget Sound…

 "Bong Bong....Bong Bong.... Pubic Mound, Departing  ---- Bong"

Shipmate in berthing joking about sticking things up your ass…

Remember…  “Big flared base, it’ll stay in place!”… “Long and thin it’ll get pulled in!”

Quarterdeck Watch on USS Neversails …

"D'you hear there...anyone who wishes to do so and has not done so and still wants to do so before they cannot do so......do so now."

"That is all"

 

( FiN )