Sunday, August 20, 2023

" The Female Cabin Boy "

 



There was a pretty female, as you should understand, Who wanted to go roving into some foreign land. Disguised in sailor's clothing she boldly did appear, Engaging with the captain to serve him for one year.

Engaging with the captain his cabin boy-to-be.

When the wind began to favor, they quickly put to sea.

The captain had his wife aboard; It was she who would enjoy Having this willing servant, the pretty cabin boy.

Oh, nimble was this pretty girl; she did her duties well—

The first mate’s wish, the bosun’s charge—whatever her be fell. But as for the captain, in time, to his annoy,

Began to swell the waist of Nell, the female cabin boy.

One night, the crew of sailors were awakened by a shout.

They bundled from their hammocks and wildly stared about.

“Oh, doctor, oh, doctor,”

the cabin boy did cry,

“I think you’ll birth a baby, or else you’ll surely die.”

The doctor ran with all his might, a smiling at this fun,

To think a sailor lad could have a daughter or a son.

And when the sailors gathered round, they shook their heads and stared;

The child belonged to none of them, they solemnly declared.

Said the lady to the captain, said she, “I wish you joy, "T was either you or I, then, seduced the cabin boy.”



( Fin )

" Up Periscope "

 Here is a collection of “Periscope Toons” for all you bubbleheads out there…

 


















































( Fin )


Sunday, August 13, 2023

" Nautical Terms "

 



A nautical answer to …

"What's a bar?"

"It's a low-lying navigational hazard, usually awash, found at river mouths and harbor entrances, where it is composed of sand or mud, and ashore, where it is made of mahogany or some other dark wood. Sailors can be found in large numbers around both."




" The Admiral's Daughter "

 



She was only the Admiral's daughter...

But her naval base was always full of discharged seamen.

 


Sunday, August 6, 2023

" August 2023 Pin-ups "

 Here is your August Pin-up collection for your enjoyment …















































( Fin )

Sunday, July 30, 2023

"Another Spark of Memories"

 


An old shipmate regaled me with this story that was not only entertaining but reminded me of how I got my current job in good ol’ civilian land.  Apparently, this fellow was a radioman back in the 1960s’ on the USS Mansfield.  Shortly after arriving onboard, the new Operations Officer wanted a tour of the radio shack. So shortly after morning Quarters, the RMC and the new Ops Boss rang the shacks buzzer to let them in. 

It didn’t take a minute for the Ops Boss to recognize a Union Pacific Railroad calendar up on the bulkhead …

“Who worked for the Union Pacific Railroad?”

… He asked …

“My father, Sir.”

“Where?”

“Marysville, Kansas, Sir.”

… The new Ops Boss replies …

“Marysville! What's his name?”

“B.E. Jaynes.”

… He exclaimed …

“Trainmaster Bart Jaynes, hell yes I know him, he fired me!”

Turns out he had wrecked a UP vehicle and our illustrious shipmate’s dad fired him for it. He said the Ops Boss never held that against him. When he got home he told the story to his Dad. He remembered who he was and got a big kick out of the tale.

His story reminded me of when I got interviewed for my current civilian job. As soon as I answered the phone …

“Is this retired Firecontrol Chief Dennis Swing?”

“Why yes it is.”

“Well, you might remember me as Firecontrol Second Class, Chad Graham. I’m about to be your boss.” 

And that’s when I remembered the old phrase…

“Be careful whose toes you step on, they might be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.” 

And that my friends is a no-shitter! 

Sunday, July 23, 2023

" Sailor Speak "

 



A sailor goes on a date with a young lass he just met. After some dance and drinks, she asks him what he would like to do next … 


“Let’s play Navy Bombardiers … I’ll lay on my poop deck, and you blow the hell out of me!”