Friday, August 11, 2017

‘Reverse Psychology’




Two married Navy Chiefs were sitting at the bar drinking one night after work when one turns to the other and says…

“You know, I don’t know what else to do! Whenever I go home after we’ve been out, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, I shut off the engine and coast into the garage! I take my shoes off before I go into the house and sneak up the stairs. Then I sneak into the bathroom to get undress so I can snake my way into bed, but my wife always wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”

His fellow Chief looks at him and says…

“Well, you’re obviously taking the wrong approach!  I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the stairs, throw my shoes into the closet, strip off me cloths and jump right into bed as I rub my wife’s ass and say … How about a little?!?”

“HuH?!?”

“She just pretends that she’s still asleep… works every time!”

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

‘The Louder You Speak’




A very shy Seaman Recruit straight out of Bootcamp goes into a pub and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar! After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks …

“Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”

… She responds by yelling at him at the top of her lungs …

“No I won’t sleep with you tonight!”

Everyone in the bar was now staring at the poor lad! Naturally, the young Crackerjack was hopelessly and completely embarrassed and as he slinked back to his table!! After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes!!!

She smiles and says to him …

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”

To which our young Navy man responds at the top of his lungs …

What the hell do you mean Two-Hundred Dollars?!?”

Friday, August 4, 2017

'When The Chief Farts'


The Chief was at a sophisticated dinner party for all Officers and Chiefs onboard the ship when he let out a rather boisterous loud fart!

The Skipper was appalled and said indignantly,

"Chief! How dare you fart in front of my wife!"

The Chief exclaimed,

"Sorry Captain, I didn't realize it was her turn!"


Wednesday, August 2, 2017

'Old Grumpy Chiefs'




An elderly couple learned to send text messages on their mobile phones…

The wife, a retired college English instructor with emphasis on the Classics, was an unapologetic romantic; her husband, a retired salty Navy Chief Petty Officer of thirty years’ service, was a no-nonsense guy!!!

One afternoon the wife went to the local Starbuck’s to meet a friend for coffee! While awaiting her friend’s arrival, she exercised her new skill by sending her husband a romantic text message…

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."

The husband responded…

"I'm takin' a shit. Please advise."

Almost brings a tear to my eyes…

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

‘The Evolution Of Half Hitch’

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Back during World War II Hank Ketchum came up with the mischievous swabby of a cartoon character named Half Hitch!



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In the late Sixties and Early Seventies his cartoon was given a facelift and reinvented for the Sunday Comics!!


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And it looks as though in modern day times the setting has been given a facelift to try and reflect reality … problem is … “I’m too tired to go on Liberty in Subic!” … was said by no one ever!!!