Thursday, September 21, 2017

'More On Sailors & Marines'

Coming back from the dance floor with her friends, a Marine’s girlfriend stormed up to him at their table…

“That Sailor on the dance floor just insulted me!”

… she fumed …

“He told me he was going to rip my blouse off and suck on my tits!”

“OH Yeah?!?”

… The Marine exclaimed as he jumped out of his chair …

“Then he said he was going to rip off my skirt and kiss my pussy!”

“I’m going to kick his ass!”

… The Marine bellowed as he started pulling off his jacket …

“You’d better!”

… said the girlfriend egging him on …

“Because then he said he was going to turn me on my head, fill my vagina with whiskey, and drink it all down!”

To that the Marine sheepishly put his jacket back on and sat back down at his seat!

“What’s wrong?”

… His girlfriend whined …

“I’m not going to mess with any guy that can drink that much whiskey!!!”

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

“Paoli On The Master-At-Arms Force”

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What would our life be like without the good ol’ Master-At-Arms?!?  That’s a question most often discussed by junior sailors over the messdeck table!! Here are a few Jeremiah Paoli Cartoons to put it all into perspective!!!

A Master-At-Arms idea of a hot shower might had been a relaxing bubble bather with a rub-a-dub-dub to follow, but when this particular soapy was secured, you better be nothing but assholes and elbows shining the bright work in those stalls, because ‘Water Hours Will Be Enforced!’

Restricted and Extra Duty Men, the galley slaves of shipboard life, are accustomed to abuse from the Master-At-Arms as most of them make humanity seem like the underside of a dirty park bench...

“Nope, No Coke In There!”

One unlucky fellow was up before the CO on drug charges!  He swore to the captain that he had never done drugs in his life!!  He then went on to say that he had never even seen a drug in his life!!  When the Skipper asked where he was from he said: "Detroit, sir."  The whole bridge broke out in laughter and the guy pretty much knew his goose was cooked!!!  


Master-At-Arms were quick to hand out ‘Walking Chits’ to shipmates in need of a haircut or a hot rock to iron that chambray shirt in their dungaree uniform!  Some shipmates can feel singled out, harassed and even picked on under the unevenly handed UCMJ …  I guess it’s all a matter of perspective!! But sometimes it can get downright ridiculous!!!

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 Six miles from the last vestige of feminine influence and it was OK to act like you were raised by wolves! This included loud burping, "pull my finger" fart jokes, smoking lamp in all authorized spaces, chomping a chaw and spitting any damn place you felt like … Except the scuttlebutt!! That could get you 45/45 as well as a lesson in keel hauling!!!

Back then shipmates smoked cigarettes all over the ship! Nobody knew what the hell secondhand smoke was and just wandered around in it like it was nothing! Nine out of ten doctors recommended Camels Cigarettes!! I swear I read it in a magazine ad in Playboy... or one of them other naked lady magazines!!!