Friday, July 21, 2017

'Sailors Still Shoot Horse Don't They'


Here is an excerpt from a book that I found to be quite humorous! The setting is from the early to mid 70’s so if it’s a bit rough around the edges, just ask yourself…  “Why did they come up with drug tests in the Ol’ Canoe Club in the first place?”

Here it goes…

Hotel Street in Honolulu was a street that had long catered to sailors.  During WWII it had over twenty brothels and hundreds of hookers. Now in the seventies, it didn’t have any advertised whorehouses but it still had plenty of hookers, bars, strip clubs, tattoo joints, and pawn shops.  Just the kind of street I had joined the Navy to hang out on.  So I had stopped at a couple of pubs for a few cocktails and then leisurely shopped for a tattoo – finally deciding on a tattoo of a pineapple to adorn my left bicep to commemorate my time in Hawaii, at a fine establishment called Rosie’s Tattoos – before I hit the pawn shops. 

Sailors have always gotten tatted up and always will, but of the thousands that I have seen – anchors, naked ladies, pot leafs, panthers, snakes, skulls, knives, flags, dice, ships, all the usual bullshit – only three really stand out in my memory: 

1) I once saw a sailor in the shower who had a mouse inked on his shoulder eating a block of cheese with tracks running up from the crack of his ass.

2) There was a great tattoo artist named Sailor Jerry who did an infamous tat of a monkey bent over spreading his cheeks with “ALOHA” inked around his bunghole that I saw on several old time salts.

3) I was boozing, smoking, and doing lines of blow one time with a strung out coke addict sailor named Larkey who had a black blob o fink tattooed all over the side of his little finger on his right hand.  When I inquired about it he told me that he had gotten shit faced while in the Philippines and had gotten “FUCK OFF” tattooed there for when he saluted officers. When I asked how long it had taken someone to notice he glumly replied…

“The very first fucking officer I saluted!”

The book is labeled as fiction but you know the author had done time in the ol’ Nav! No one with that much knowledge of our business got it from being a bystander!! The book is called “Sailors Still Shoot Horse Don’t They.” I’m sure like any no-shit Sea Story, there are some half-truths in this book!! It’s pretty funny so far as it is!! I love salty sea going shit like this!!!




Thursday, July 20, 2017

“Confiscated”



Here is some artwork from a shipmate by the name of Jeremiah (Jerry) Paoli! Jerry heavily contributed artwork to All Hands magazine throughout the late sixties and early seventies!! His pieces could also be found in several of the cruise books onboard various ships he had served!! I tried contacting Shipmate Paoli to no avail… but where ever he is, his humor and artwork are surely appreciated!!!

 

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

'A Stolen Kiss?!?'




Five people were riding in a train coach! A woman and her beautiful nineteen-year-old daughter were sitting on one side, and facing them standing up were a Marine Corp General, his security escort along with a Navy Corpsman!! The train enters a tunnel, and the cabin becomes dark. A kiss is heard, followed by a slap…

The mother thinks…

"That young Navy man stole a kiss from my daughter, and she rightfully slapped him."

The daughter thinks…

"That young Sailor tried to kiss me and kissed my mother by mistake and got slapped."

The General thinks…

"That young sailor stole a kiss, and I got slapped by mistake!"

The young Corpsman thinks…

"I'm pretty smart. I kiss the back of my hand and get to hit the General!"

Monday, July 17, 2017

'Coca Cola'




Coca-Cola has been a big part of the lives of millions of people in and throughout American History. From special occasions to exceptional moments in everyday life, Coca-Cola was there. The brand has become a special part of people's lives.

Over the years, thousands of military personnel had sent personal stories about how Coca-Cola had affected their lives. Whether it was a favorite childhood memory, a reminder of family gatherings, or a recollection of good times with shipmates, fellow soldiers and friends, Coca-Cola had touched the lives of servicemen and women all over the world.

Here are some of the stories that Coca-Cola fans shared from our Navy Marine Corp. team over the years…

While stationed in Korea in 1980-81, we went into the field often and missed the creature comforts. I’ll never forget one hot day running communications wire when a local lady hiked up the "hill" to sell Coke -- ice-cold Coke. We gave her a ride down the road and when we handed her the pack she was carrying, we could barely lift it. That Coke sure was good. I've had Coke all over the world, but that one Coke was the best!

It was my last day in Navy boot camp and I was ready to get out. Once I hit the airport, the first place I went was a pizza joint. I didn’t care about pizza; I was DYING to get a Coke. I got up to the counter only to realize I had packed my money in my suitcase and not my carry-on! I almost started to cry, when the man behind me offered to buy me not only a large Coke, but my lunch also. I can honestly say I've never had a better tasting Coke in my life, and I don’t think I ever will.

I am a United States Sailor on board the U.S.S. JFK and I am returning from a six month deployment from the Persian Gulf. I just wanted to let The Coca-Cola Company know how much your soda got me through each day. Every morning on my way to work I would stop by the cafeteria and pick up three cans of Coke from the all famous vending machine. I would bring those with me to work and put in my refrigerator. Looking forward to drinking each one, starting in the morning, then afternoon and evening. Seriously, drinking each one of those Cokes was so satisfying it actually gave me something to look forward to. Again thank you for doing what you do and helping me get through a rather brutal six months out to sea away from home.

New Year's Eve 2003: I was in the Navy, stationed on a patrol craft speeding from somewhere in the Persian Gulf to Kuwait for emergency repairs. After a few hours of rapid transit, the Captain called for all hands to man the deck in preparation to moor. As we eased the boat alongside the pier and tossed the mooring lines to fasten the ship, my watch beeped and caught my attention. It was midnight! The Captain got on the loudspeaker and said, "Happy New Year!" as we continued to struggle with the mooring lines. When it was all over, my friend brought out two cans of Coke. We sat down, toasted and celebrated the New Year! It was by far the most unique New Year's celebration I've ever had!

A month may not seem like a long time, but when you’re at war and haven’t had a Coke in that long it seems like forever. In Baghdad while sitting at a checkpoint, my Executive Officer comes out to us and says, "Look what some locals brought us." Lo and behold a Coke. I think the rest of the day was perfect.

I graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy in May 2000. While there, I would have two or three glasses of Coke every day, especially after a long day of classes, after a hard lacrosse practice or after two hours on the drill field. I love Coke. I honestly would never have made it through Annapolis without it. Now I am an Ensign about to start flight training to be a Navy pilot. Thank God they have Coke on ships! I wonder if they will let me bring it in my jet?

In 1956, I was young pilot on USS Forrestal stopped in south England. I encountered a small group of visitors on tour of ship, and I gave them a Coke. One of the group, an elderly Englishman, took a drink and exclaimed, "The ingenuity of you Yanks - to serve it over ice."

My father was in the Navy based out of Subic Bay in the Philippines, where he met my mother, who was serving Coca-Cola at a stand. They have been married for almost 40 years now!

In 1970 I was stationed on a Navy Ship U.S.S. Kitty Hawk in Vietnam. We hauled 10,000 cases of Coke on board by hand. I was one of the lucky men who had this privilege. We hand carried each case of canned Coke down six flights of stairs on the ship every other week. There were 5,000 men stationed on the Kitty Hawk and everyone looked forward to the "Coke Run." One run took 18 hours! Liberty and a refreshing Coke were our rewards for doing this.

I remember when I was in Korea we used to play Distance. Under every Coca-Cola bottle was a state and the one of us with the farthest distance from our home town was the winner. Great time, great Coke. 

My Coca-Cola story is from Feb. 26, 1991. I was a U.S. Marine in the Persian Gulf. My unit was heading back south from Kuwait City. We had stopped for a few minutes to rest. A lone vehicle was coming our way. A Marine came out and tossed cases of Coke and diet Coke to us. It was like a dream come true. It was the best diet Coke I had ever had.


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Sunday, July 16, 2017

‘EAST MAIN’

Here is a new one from a shipmate who calls himself Seajay the Sailor Man… I hope you enjoy!!!


If you were stationed in Norfolk, Va. during the early '60s you know about EAST MAIN STREET...

For those of you who don't know, East Main was a street that was about four blocks long! It consisted of bars on both sides of the street from one end to the other!! There was one place that was not a bar. It was one of those Salvation Army places!!!

I know really good drinkers that tried to go to East Main and drink a beer in each bar on both sides of the street from one end to the other and just could not make it! I use to go down there just to watch what was going on!! There was one bar that advertised itself as the WORLD'S LARGEST ASH TRAY!! All kinds of names to get you to come in if possible!! Really nice looking bar girls with several pretty teeth, sometimes!!!

I think the bar was the ‘Krazy Kat’ that I settled into a booth with a beer to just watch what went on! A very large Marine corporal came in with his cuffs rolled up, his tie slack and his hat on the back of his head!! He flopped on a stool and ordered a beer in a very loud voice!!!

He appeared to be very drunk as he sat there soaking his beer when the Shore Patrol walked in! For you landlubbers out there, the Shore Patrol is the military police of the Navy!! They cruise the bars to prevent trouble and keep service personnel straight!!!

The two shore patrol guys walked over to the Marine and requested he straighten his uniform, fix his hat or remove it and shape up! The Marine turned around on the stool and faced one average-size sailor and one Philippine sailor a little over 5 feet tall!! This guy probably just barely made the height and weight requirements for the service!!!

The Marine was a little over six feet and would weigh something over two forty and mostly muscle as I could tell! He looked at the Shore Patrol and told them where to go and what they could do when they got there!! With this the larger Shore Patrol guy stepped back and the short one again requested that the Marine shape up or feel the consequences!!!

At this point the Marine made a very big error! He swung at the little guy with his ham sized hand that would have smashed the little guy if he had connected!! The little guy simply stepped aside, rolled under the punch and tossed the Marine on the floor like a sack of beans!!!

The Marine leaped to his feet and bull-charged at the little guy! As the Marine came at him the little guy simply stepped aside and tripped the Marine, again dropping him like a sack of beans!! The first Shore Patrol guy was simply standing to one side watching the whole commotion!!!

I asked him if he was going to help his buddy and he smiled and said no but he probably should help the Marine to make it a fair fight! This went on for several more swings and charges until the Marine ran out of steam!! At this point the Marine was covered in dirt from the bar floor, bruised probably mentally as well as physically from the falls and completely embarrassed for letting himself be whipped by someone smaller than his sister!! They cuffed the marine and carried him to the paddy wagon!!!

Sometime later I was over at the gym in the Naval Air Station! We went over to shoot some hoops and goof off for half a day!! I walked into the gym and in one section they had a large mat on the floor!! Guys were throwing themselves at this mat and flopping around like crazy!! They would run and deliberately hurl themselves hitting so that their leg and arm and side hit at the same time!!!

I figured they were nuts until I noticed the instructor! He was the same Philippine guy that was on Shore Patrol that night in the ‘Krazy Kat’ on East Main!! I think the sport was called Jiu-Jitsu!! The art of using one's opponent's weight against himself, or something like that!! I called it beating the living hell out of someone without losing your white hat!!!

So it went on the Norton on shore in Norfolk Va…

Seajay the sailor man!!!