Monday, March 11, 2024

" Drunk & Disorderly "

 

A sailor wakes up one morning with the worst hangover and no recollection of the night before. Slowly opening his eyes, he sees a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table. He looks around the room to find his uniform neatly folded on the dresser with clean skivvies on top. The bedroom is immaculate. On the bedside table is a note that says…

“Darling, your breakfast is in the kitchen. I love you.”

Downstairs, he finds his favorite cereal, croissants, fresh OJ, and freshly brewed coffee waiting for him, along with the morning paper, and his 15-year-old son who is finishing his own breakfast.

“Tell me, son,” he asks, “what happened last night?”’

“Well, you came home so drunk you didn’t even know your own name. You nearly broke the door down, then you were sick in the hallway, then you knocked the furniture over and when mom tried to calm you down, you thought she was the police, so you gave her a black eye.”

“Christ!” says the sailor. “Then how come my clothes are all folded, the house is tidy and my breakfast is ready?”

“When mom dragged you into the bedroom and tried to get your pants off to put you into bed, you shouted at her, ‘Get your filthy hands off me, you whore, I’m married!’” 


Sunday, March 3, 2024

" More Crazy Navy Cartoons "

 Some new toons for your enjoyment …















































( Fin )



" G.A.S.H. "

 



A sailor returns from liberty feeling very ill. He goes to medical who soon has the ship’s Medical Officer at his beck and call. After completing a series of tests the sailor passes out and awakes sometime later in an isolated room with a speaker squawking at him next to the headboard of his bed…

“We’ve received the results back from your tests. We have found that you have an extremely nasty STD called G.A.S.H., which is a combination of gonorrhea, AIDs, syphilis, and herpes. 

“Oh my GOD! What am I to do?”

“Well, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.”

“Will that actually cure me?”

“Well no, but it’s the only food we can get under the door.”

 

Friday, March 1, 2024

" Pinups March 2024 "

 Here’s a nice collection of Hot Rod pinups representing our nautical babes of the day. I hope this kicks off your March with some taste. Enjoy …














































( Fin )







Wednesday, February 28, 2024

" Random Funny Stuff "

 Through our adventures in the ol’ Canoe Club, we’ve all had random moments that we’ll never forget. Here are some funny ones I’ve dredged up over the years that I hope you all will enjoy…















































( Fin )

Sunday, February 25, 2024

" Stranded "

 



The female crewmember was the only woman shipwrecked on a deserted island with several of her male shipmates. She was so cheerful and pleasant, and kept the crew’s spirits so high through the six months they were stranded on the island that the crew, when they were rescued, bought her an expensive Cashmere sweater. When the female sailor arrived home she was telling a friend about the sweater…

“Crewneck?”

… asked the friend of the sweater …

“They certainly did. That’s how I kept them so cheerful!”  

 

Thursday, February 22, 2024

" European Trains "

 



The train was crowded and the U.S. Sailor walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed middle-aged French woman’s poodle. The tired Sailor asked,

“Ma’am, may I have that seat?”

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, “Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.”

The Sailor walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.

“Please, ma’am. May I sit down? I’m very tired.”

She snorted,

“Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant.”

This time the Sailor didn’t say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down. The woman shrieked,

“Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place.”

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up,

“Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”