Twas Da Nite of Da Poon Shoot

A fellow Firecontrolman let me borrow this about a Missile Shoot!!! Hope you all enjoy:   

Twas Da Nite of Da ‘Poon shoot,

And all thru Combat,

Not a watchstander was sleeping.

Not even way in the back.

The OS’s all manned their consoles with care,

Hoping that “ol Stormin wouldn’t come over there,

The officers all shook their heads in dread,

All hoping that if this doesn’t go right, Norman wouldn’t shoot them dead.

We had Johnny on SP phones, watching the dials,

Two minutes and holding, it’s been that way for a while,

Then suddenly they get the word over the wire,

The range is green; you may go ‘head and fire.

OS2 Kennedy powered up the bird that was in cell eight,

Now in ten minutes it will all be too late,

The FCO, LT Williams, a virgin TAO,

Looked at the Captain and said “Sir we’re ready to go”.

The Captain then looked him square in the eye,

“You mess this up, and I’ll see that you fry”,

Batteries released, let her rip, get that bird in the air he snorted,

Kennedy turned the key and the firing squib shorted.

There came a whine, that was so faint to the ear,

We in Harpoon knew that destruction was near,­­

The bird lit off and left with a racket,

The bridge watchstanders all ducked and dogged the hatches.

“The bird is away” I said with you know what in my hand,

In five minutes you can say “scratch one EX-Navy tin can”,

The bird flew east with a chase plane now far behind,

USS Hewes fired too, down the same bearing line.

Four minutes into flight, the Hewes bird went astray,

It started to circle and come back our way,

Destroy Hewes missile, the order went out,

CIWS to auto, stand clear of the mounts.

The pilot in the chase plane, made a textbook close pass,

He radioed Splash Alpha, Dale your birds in the drink,

In all the confusion, I splashed the wrong one I think.

And then he said, “I splashed the right one this time”

Bingo to base, it’s Miller time.

While back on the Dale, we heard such a clatter,

Stormin Norman’s in combat to see what’s the matter,

“Get the out my way” was the first the first thing he said,

The next was “OP’s start praying I’ll soon have your head”.

The CHENG was shivering ‘cause it suddenly got cold,

And then he said, “My Snipes didn’t drop the load”,

WEPS with a check sheet that hadn’t expired,

He said “My PMS was SAT, long before you fired”.

OP’s said “Captain, I swear it wasn’t my fault”,

It was the pilot, he splashed the bird that you bought,

Let go of my throat, please don’t make me holler,

It’s just one bird, what’s a million dollars?

A few hours later, a message came in from COMCRUDESGRU TWO,

It said, NORM, calm down I saw what happened too,

The pilot that splashed the bird that you fired,

Will be manning a desk until the day he retires.

The morrow of this story is not about my wit,

It’s just that Stormin Normin don’t take no (Well, you know)

FCC Tiz