Monday, April 24, 2017

'Horizontal Refreshment'

We all know the longer one goes without companionship of the kinder gentler sex can reduce one to the state in which one will attempt to form a carnal union with a Suzie Blow Up Doll, if he assumes a velvet hole resides within. Rates at which this will happen differ from sailor to sailor!

Until the first morning of the long awaited liberty port when the local constabulary delivers you to the Quarterdeck in a straw hat, your skivvies and flip flops, and you can't remember which house of horizontal refreshment you left your whites hanging!!

Behind you in toe is the Weapons Boss, back from doing his own version of the Devil’s Fandango... The lieutenant is wearing dog tags, skivvies and black socks… And he too, wears a straw hat with lipstick and hickey marks up and down his torso!!!

Try explaining that one to the skipper…!!!

1 comment:

  1. Olongapo.

    You decided to buy baby duck or chicks (whichever were being sold that day) to feed to the crocodiles on your way back to the taxi, decide to take a drink from the bottle in your pocket that you bought at the exchange and have been hoarding for the trip back and you fumble it. It falls into the slew. And you are not sure whether it's worth it to go down into the crocodile pit and retrieve it or not...This is what happens after the pressure has been relieved at the hump palace and you're feeling like your old self, still knowing that you have to get back to the ship.