Thursday, July 3, 2014

'Happy Fourth Of July'

Before any of you ol’ Salty Crackerjacks go out and buy yourself what’s passing for fireworks these days… you know the ones with the ‘Safe for Infant’ warning where the advertisement printed on the front label is more gauddamned terrifying than the stuff you’re light’n off, Just stop and think before you get all liquored up spending the night light’n the cordite so you can smell the burnt carbon for the next four days!!

When it comes to say’n ‘NO’ to the seatbelts, helmets, knee pads & elbow pads, radial belted condoms & audio activated panty hose that require a password to get into like some kind’a ‘Jerry Rigged’ chastity belt… I’m right there with ya! But you gotta play it safe to a point and stick to the rules because you can’t drink your beer and light fuses at the same time when you’re drunk… I keep fall’n over!! And when you’re light’n stuff off that can send an oil drum so high in the damned air the local airport picks up a blip on the radar scope… or it’s sett’n off the air raid alarms all over town… you might be doing something right… but you’ll probably be gett’n a knock on the door from the local constable… just say’n!!!

So go out there and light up what goes up and blows up and goes boom… And enjoy the weekend! Don’t forget what you’re celebrating either… too gauddamned many kids out there need to be edumacated on what the hell the Fourth of July is really all about!! If more kids these days understood what our Constitutional Freedoms were about and the men and women who fought so damned hard to make this place worth fighting for… we’d probably have some better Politians represent’n us home folks!!!

Sooo… edumacate those kids and Enjoy the Libations & Celebrations!!!


  1. Happy 4th of July to you also. Now hold my beer and watch this shit.

  2. SHEEEET's 'bout to get Reeeell!