Tuesday, February 23, 2016

'Worst Tattoo You Ever Saw'

I served Twenty-Three years in the Canoe Cabaret and never got a tattoo! The thought crossed my mind a time or two… even considered it on a drunken night but couldn’t figure out what kind of art to get and where to put it!! Asking fellow shipmates… Throwing ideas around like a hooker’s underwear!! What was the worst Tattoo you fellas ever saw?!?


  1. The most painful one to get, IMHO, was a BM3 with a fly tattooed on the head of his dick. How drunk do you have to get to to this? He claimed it turned into an eagle when he got excited.

  2. 2 guys on my ship would show their tattooed penis' off. One had a house fly and the other a cherry. Both tattoos were on the head. How much liquor do you have to drink to get that done?

  3. An ETCS had the fly. Proudly showed it to anyone who was at the hotel pool in Phuket one night. The Old Man was not amused. Mess cooked in the CPO mess on my first ship saw some things that made me wish for mind bleach. Twin screws (one per cheek)BTC,QMCS with Elmer Fudd pointing a shotgun at his crack complete with voice bubble "Come out you Wascally Wabbit!" BMC that used to tell women "I've got your name tattoed on my dick!" He did too, said "Your Name". ENFN at Great Mistakes had Slippery When Wet road sign inside left thigh, she was fun. BM2 had a flaming skull chewing its way out on the side of his neck. QM3 with a Grateful Dead Teddy Bear on top of his head.

  4. During a Med, we stopped over in Cannes for the 4th of July. There are a ton of worse places to be as you well know. After a long day of sipping from all the local watering holes, we found ourselves drunk and homesick in a bar next door to a tattoo parlor. We decided to commemorate the holiday by getting tats that reminded us of home. I got my family name on my arm, and he got his wife's initials on the back of his neck. About a week later, we were back underway and I ran into him on the smoking deck. He looked sick, and was holding a Dear Jody letter. The tat hadn't even healed yet.

  5. Don't know about the worst one I ever saw; but man, a guy'd have to be crazy (even drunk) to get tattooed on the dick! That must've hurt like heaven only knows what.
    Tho, I can add to those horror stories.
    On my first ship, one of our junior non-rates in deck division got the head of his dick PIERCED while we were in Subic. Now, this was on our way IN to the PG, during Earnest Will. (As he later claimed to all and sundry, it was b/c he believed it would drive women "that much wilder". It developed an infection, and the idiot wound up making more than a few trips to the LaSalle for treament; he spent a total of around 3 weeks, out of our three months in theater, in the White Ghost's sickbay.

  6. A friend of mine had a rooster on a hangman's noose tattooed on the lower part of his leg. He got it so he could go up to woman and say "I got a cock that hangs below me knee."

    1. I knew a guy named Don that had that same tat...he used it as a pick up line all the time lol

  7. Master Chief Oneyear, tat of crossed anchors on inside of bottom lip. Also had EVERY liberty port he had visited on his back.
    Had a ENC that had two brass colored screws one on each cheek, words above his crack, " 40 knots and no smoke"!