Saturday, November 5, 2016

‘Ancient Chinese Torture’

Drunk and out on the town in Hong Kong, young Sailor Jack had got caught up in the confusion and lost his liberty buddies! Lost in the back streets and alley ways he stumbles upon and ancient old Chinese man who greeted Sailor Jack with a bow!! Impressed with the old China man’s command of English, Jack asked…

“Excuse me kind sir, but it is getting late and I’m a bit inebriated. I’ve lost my shipmates and I was wondering if you could kindly put me up for the night?”

“Why certainly!”

Said the China man …

“But there is one condition! If you so much as lay a finger on my most beloved daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man!”

“Well Okay!”

Said Jack!

Before going to bed the China man’s daughter had come down to greet Sailor Jack and give him some bedding for his night’s stay! She was young and beautiful and seemed to take a liking to Jack!! Remembering what the old China man said, Jack knew better than to come on to the young lady, so he made his bed and there is where he laid!!!

But during the night ol’ Jack tossed and turned until he couldn’t bear it any longer, and off to the young lady’s room he went for a night of passionate sex! He was careful to keep from making any loud noises as he didn’t want to wake the old China man!! Near dawn, he crept back to his own bed exhausted and happy as hell!!!

He later awoke to a pressure on his chest! Opening his eyes he saw a large boulder on his chest with a note on it that read…

Torture 1: Large Rock on Chest!”

“Well that’s pretty shitty!”

(He thought)

“If that’s the best the old man can do then I don’t have much to worry about!”

He picked up the large rock and walked over to a window overlooking a steep downhill slope! As he threw the rock out the window, he noticed another note that said…

“Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle!”

In a panic Jack glanced down and saw the rope was already getting close to the end! Figuring that a few bumps and bruises were better than castration, he jumped out the window after the boulder!! As he plummeted down the hill he saw a large sign planted in the ground that said…

“Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost!”

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