"Squidly Diddly"

A Sailor walks into a bar with an octopus and sits it down on the stool next to him while telling everyone in the bar his shipmate “Squidly Diddly” was the most talented octopus in the world. He tells everyone how “Squidly” can play any instrument in the world and he’ll wager fifty dollars to anyone to prove it.

Everyone in the bar just laughs and laughs. So a guy walks up to the octopus and sits a guitar next to him …

“I’ll take that wager. I’ve got to see this!”

The octopus starts playing and he’s better than Hendrix, Page, Eddie Van Halen and all the guitar greats … just ripping it up! So the man hands over his fifty dollars in complete amazement.

Then another man walks up with a trumpet and says …

“I bet he can’t play this!”

The octopus plays the trumpet and he’s better than Dizzie Gillispie! So the man pays him another fifty dollars and walks away in pure amazement.

Then a Scottish bloke walks up with a set of bagpipes and sits it next to the octopus. The octopus fiddles with it a bit and fumbles around awkwardly.

“Ha!” … says the Scottish fella … I knew he couldn’t play it!”

Abruptly the Octopus replies as everyone looks in awww …

“Play it … I’m gonna screw it once I figure out how to get it’s pajamas off!”