"Some Corny Navy Jokes"

In the Navy, all recruits have to “shape up” and “ship out!”

Why couldn’t the sailor play cards?  The captain was standing on the deck.

Why did the sailor grab a bar of soap when the ship sank?  To wash himself ashore.

When Navy Ships leave their anchorage they first put their anchors aweigh.

On occasion, Navy chow can be exceptional in a good way, but let’s not go overboard here.

Sailors swab the deck of ships as sort of a mopping up action.

The training of sailors is a highly complex process, but in the end it’s all awash.

When interviewed for submarine service he had the sinking feeling he wouldn’t get in.

All submariners love the underwater service because the tradition, for them, runs deep.

The Naval Aviator was grounded for getting high!

Three sailors got into a fight at the local bar in town and knew they were off base.

Seabees are great at working on infrastructure, after all, they’re all roads scholars…

When Seabees face tough conditions, their first move is to build confidence…

Tell a sailor that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you, tell him a deck has wet paint and he has to touch it.

If it's zero degrees outside on watch, and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why is it when you transport something by car it’s called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it’s called cargo?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

Are flagships made of nylon or cotton?

Why is it when a hatch is slightly open it's ajar, but when a jar is slightly open it's not a-hatch?

Why don't they call the head a butt and a cigarette a head, since that's closer to the true meaning?

Ever notice that ship's windows are called "port holes", but they are found on both sides?