" MEPS "

 

I’ll never forget the day I showed up at MEPS. I arrived at the entrance as they scurried me away to the medical facilities. The nurse took one look at me and said…

“Okay, Buddy, you’ll find a seat on the other side of the swinging doors.”

Before I knew it, I was getting a physical. They put me on a table and covered me with a white gown that had my ass hanging out the back end. As I sat there, the room filled up with several other prospects joining different branches of the service. An old codger of a doctor walks in, walks up to me and covers my face. I said …

“I’m not dead. I just want to join the Navy.”

… To which he said …

“Okay, jump up and down on one leg.”

So I jumped up and down on one leg. Then they started to examine me. What an examination it was… as they put a Doctor at one ear and a Doctor at the ear, look through your head to see if they can see each other, if they can, you out … disqualified! Then the Doctor said to me …

“Do you believe in the hereafter?”

“Of course I do, Doc…”

… He said …

“Good, from here on, you’ll need some faith!”

Then they sent me to see a classifier… the one who helps me pick out my job. I was to become a Firecontrolman.

“What the hell is a Firecontrolmen? Do I put out fires?”

“No actually quite the opposite. You start them.”

And ever since I had told family and friends that I joined the Navy to be a fire starter. You’d never believe the looks of confusion on their faces.

I went to ‘Great Mistakes’ for Bootcamp. Never did I realize just how great the barracks would be, with tiled floors that we stripped and waxed on a daily basis. That’s a lot of wax … and I learned about buffer rodeos too. Then there was the Navy Chow! They say nothing is too good for the Navy, and that includes the chow. Because that’s what I ended up eating… nothing. After eating that food I finally found out what G.I. stands for …

“Got Insurance?” 

( Fin )