Gabriel came to the Lord and said…
"I have to talk to you. We have some Navy Sailors up here who are causing problems! They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, breakfast SOS is all over their robes, they’re racing the chariots, and they're wearing dixie cups and piss cutters instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the ladder to heaven clean…. There are beer cans all over the place… Some of them are walking around with just one wing!"
Then the Lord sayeth…
Then the Lord sayeth…
"Crackerjacks are Sailors, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil!"
The Devil answered the phone…
"Hello? HOLD ON ONE MINUET!"
The Devil returned to the phone…
"O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"
Gabriel replied…
"I just want to know what kind of problems you're having down there."
The Devil said…
"Hold on again. I need to check on something!"
After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said…
"I'm back. Now what was the question?"
Gabriel said…
"What kind of problems are you having down there?"
The Devil said…
"Man, I don't believe this....Hold on."
This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. He returned and said…
"I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those damned A-Gangers have put out my fire and are trying to install a gauddamned air conditioner!!!"
Yep, that sure sounds like A-Gangers. I had a Chief tell me once that when he dies he will go to hell and take over.
ReplyDeleteSounds like the Navy I joined, not the one it has come to be! Long live the Sailor, because Heaven doesn't want us and Hell can't handle us!
ReplyDeleteWhen an old salt hears the eternal 1MC call away final Quarters, he finds himself at the gates of a large, well kept shore installation. As he enters, an honor guard presents arms to the sound of a brass band. He gets up to the admin building where the skipper (a four star admiral) and his staff are waiting outside. He comes to attention and pops a salute, and the skipper reads a Letter of Commendation for his service and dedication, meritoriously promotes him to chief, and grants him perpetual freedom of the base, a no duty chit, and a middle rack. The new forever chief finds he has a private room in the BEQ, open gangway, and every time he goes to Disbursing he has plenty pay on the books. The skipper's Son invites to take him over one evening as his Sea Daddy, and the chief finds that Olongapo is right outside the back gate. Amen.
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