I remember my years on the Chucky ‘V’ there was a running joke about ‘The Penile Curve’…
…“The bigger the rank, the bigger the curve!”
This was to signify just how big a prick one could be the further up the Chain of Command one had climbed!!!
That was before women were allowed on combat ships! Today a codpiece would be much more fitting all around! The bigger the rank, the bigger the codpiece… to better make the point!! Throw in a Sailor Jerry Tattoo to give it that douche’ Ed Hardy brandish look!! I’d imagine a "Born to Die Hard" logo would fit nicely!!!
Don't miscalculate the value of such an approach in today’s fashion show Navy! They can be more than fashion statements… no, just ad a zipper for the Admiral so he could keep his trusty tools and tackle as might be suitable in his haste of need… a few extra medals, his cell phone, car keys… a bridge to bridge radio so he can keep up with the various Commodores and Captains he’s associated with!! Though keep it off channel – 16… the Filipino Monkey could be quite an embarrassment...
" I got Big Banana for All you Girl when you get Inport!"
The more I contemplate, the better it seems! We might include a smoke-generator in case of the need for Engineering Drills!! I figure the bewilderment alone would paralyze the hardiest of crews!! How about a packet of shark repellant in case he fell over the side!! Or a compartment for cigars… kinda like a purse for guys!!!