Friday, September 26, 2014

'Pick'n On The Boy'

A story I wrote a week or so ago I’d mentioned one of those ‘Pick’n on the Boy’ kinda moments and it reminded me of another jiffy of a flash in this ol’ Crackerjack’s past!! It is a rather sordid tale but I'll speak of it anyway since… well that’s what this site is all about… right?!?   

Being on a bird farm, ‘Chucky V,’ as a young lad in my early days meant dealing with quite an assortment of scallywags and simple minded salts on a routine basis! Well we had this little feller up in CIWS nicknamed ‘Woody’ who wasn’t the brightest bulb in the batch!! He surely wasn’t the wisest in the division and gullible as I’ll get out!! One day after a long stent of chip’n and grind’n we’d been sitt’n in the mount taking a break when ol’ Woody went on one of his spells about the new ‘Love of his Life’ while describing every detail of their intimate lives… her hair, bra size, favorite sexual positions… you know the drill!!!

Well… this went on day after day, over and over for about a week… he was a proud man that Woody was! One of our other cohorts, known as ‘Snowman,’ checks in off leave and we fill him in on all the details that ‘Woody’ had been feed’n us!! Soooo… the next day of work we’re out on the sponson and we got ol’ Woody talking about his girly friend once again!! He states her name and mentions her blonde hair and glasses and ol’ Snowman chimes in…

“Is that Michelle such & such, with blonde hair glasses, she likes to hang out at the El Camino in Bremerton…etc, etc…”

after all, Woody already divulged this a few days earlier as he replies…

“Well, yeah, how’d you know all that?”

… to which Snowden retorts…

Hey, you guys remember that blonde gal at the El Camino… the one we took turns on at the ‘Super 8’ after breakfast at Denny’s?!? That’s the girl Woody’s dating!”

… Needless to say ol’ Woody was a bit dismayed by his new revelation as he got more and more pissed off with every guy who chimed in about his girl and how she liked to do it this way and that… the perplexity on his face was priceless!!!

The following day after morning Quarters ol’ Woody was anxious to get us all together as he had something to say! Apparently when he went over to his girl’s house that night he confronted her about the situation…

“She said you all must be thinking of someone else because the group of guys she slept with were off the ‘Nimitz’ and not the ‘Chucky V’!!!”

… We were all pretty gauddamned dumbstruck’n! Woody didn’t seem to care the least bit as long as it wasn’t us… and soon he was engaged and married!! Always wondered what happened with that there match made in hell…LoL!!!


  1. I laughed so hard milk and cereal came out of my nose.

  2. Similar situation at NAS Alameda back in the day.

  3. maybe woody was bustin"your ball,s back?

  4. We had a 2nd class gunners mate who always seemed a little off center. He'd been on swift boats in Vietnam and seen too many bad things.
    Anyway one night the sailor who bunked across from him was woken up in the middle of the night with this guy staring him in the face and shaking him. When the guy asked the 2nd class what in the world was the matter an expression of relief washed all over his face. He told the poor seaman that he thought he had strangled him during the night, and was shaking him to make sure it was only a dream.
    Next morning the seaman moved his rack to the far end of the compartment.

  5. I think we were all associated with a Woody at one time or another.