Tuesday, July 12, 2016

July's 'Riggin' Bill'

Just the semi-articulate account of a long ago Crackerjack and his troubles & tributes with women and the lost ways of life in those days!!!

Dear Lotta:

At first I did not understand your letter, but now I think I see it all. It is your sister Peachy’s fault!  All the time I thought I was dating you when it was really her!! Lotta, your sister Peachy has fooled us both… she was talking to one of the Marines at the gate when I was coming out two weeks ago and I thought it was you!!!

I walked up and said…“Come Baby, let’s go places!”

She should have told me she was Peachy as she knows how I feel about you, but I cannot tell you apart! Lotta, you have got to believe me and give that French Sailor the brush-off as he is not as dumb as you think!! Anyhow, your knee can get very callous that way!!!

Lotta, I will make up all this lost time to you! I can teach you all the sailors’ knots in a week and then you won’t have to worry about Peachy!! But first we have to get this situation solved so I can tell you and Peachy apart and not make the same mistake again!!!

Why don’t you dye your hair red?!?

In this way I could tell you from Peachy and what do we care if she copy’s you! There are a lot of colors in the rainbow and we can beat her at her own game!! If you don’t like this idea maybe you can come up with a new one, but in the mean time get rid of this new Frenchy… who does he think he is, Balzac?!?

Unfortunately I spent all my money on Peachy the last week thinking it was you, and pay-call is still a week away!  Would you like to go for a walk on the boardwalk at Coney Island on Sunday?!? We can listen to what the wild waves are saying, and I don’t mean those girls in uniform!!!


Riggin Bill

1 comment:

  1. I had a shipmate who had a girlfriend in another city. Problem was he was married. When both his wife and girlfriend had babies at about the same time period he was thrilled. But as they grew older he noticed they looked almost like twins. His biggest fear was that somehow the wife and girlfriend might someday meet. Were they to see these kids there would be no denying how it happened.