Subpoena and Summons Extrordinary
The Royal Court of The Raging Main
Domain of Neptune Vale Pacificus
To Whom May Come These Presents:
Whereas: This good ship bound south is about to enter our Domain, and the aforesaid ship carries a large and slimy cargo of landlubbers, beachcombers, shithouse rats, sea lawyers, lounge lizards, parlor dunnigans, plow deserters, chicken chasers, hay tossers, chit signers, sand crabs, four flushers, squaw men, pig lovers, and all sorts of fuckery of the land, and last but not least he-vamps and liberty hounds, falsely masquerading as seamen, of which scum you are a member, having never appeared before us; So Now: on This Date………
Be it known: That we hereby summon you………. to appear before the Royal High Court and our August Presence on the aforesaid date, as may best suit our pleasure, and to accept most heartily and with good grace, the pains and penalties of the awful torture that will be inflicted upon you! To be examined as to fitness to become one of our trusty Shellbacks, and to answer such charges as may have been placed against you!
Disobey This Summons Under The Pain of Our Just and Terrible Displeasure. Our Vengeance Is Ever Wakeful and Our Vengeance is Swift and Sure.
Given Under Hand And Seal,
Attest: Davey Jones, Royal Scribe
Signed: Neptunus Rex
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