Friday, January 11, 2019

"The Good Ship Venus"

Bawdy Sea Shanties are a blast from our sordid past in the annals of our nautical history. Many a Shanty were work songs sung to keep the work more pleasant. Because these songs were used to accomplish a goal, rather than for pure entertainment, the lyrics and melody were not very sophisticated. Still, the songs were meaningful and told of a sailor’s life without getting the sailor in question strapped to the mast! Most of the shanties spoke of the back breaking work, abuse from captain and crew, alcohol, and longing for girls on dry land, Enjoy …

Twas on the good ship Venus,
By God you should have seen us,
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast the Captain’s penis.

The captain of this lugger,
He was a dirty bugger,
He wasn’t fit to shovel shit
From one ship to another.

The captain’s wife was Mabel.
Whenever she was able,
She’d fornicate with the second mate
Upon the galley table.

The cabin boy was Kipper,
A dirty little nipper,
We stuffed his arse with broken glass
To circumcise the skipper.

The captain had a daughter,
Who fell into the water,
We heard her squeal and knew an eel
Had found her sexual quarter.

The second mate’s name was Andy,
His balls were long and bandy,
We filled his arse with molten brass
For wanking in the brandy.

The captain’s name was Morgan,
By Christ he was a gorgon!
Ten times a day sweet tunes he’s play.
On his productive organ.

The captain’s daughter Mable,
They laid her on a table!
And all the crew would come and screw
As oft as they were able.

“Twas on a Chinese station,
We caused a great sensation.
We sunk a junk in a sea of spunk
By mutual masturbation.

Another cook was O’Malley,
He didn’t dilly dally.
He shot his bolt with such a jolt
He whitewashed half the galley.

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